Nobody's Gonna Get Me
by angelelaura
Summary: First of my Back in Black trilogy...My version of Season 3 so contains full spoilers for Seasons 1 and 2, but is totally AU after that...DeanJo centred, but there's obviously Sam and others from Supernatural in it as well...COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 

There are more important things than unfinished business…

* * *

"Hey." he said nonchalantly. 

"Hey." she said back, temporarily stunned and fixed to the spot. Something inside her told her to run, so she did. She couldn't leave – she was at work – but she could move away from him, so she darted behind the bar and took Ted's order.

As she poured some hapless slob's beer, Dean watched her, suddenly aware that this wouldn't be that easy and even more aware that at that moment he was completely alone. She said something to the guy she had just served, but Dean couldn't make it out, which made him realise the distance she had put between them, so he began to walk towards her.

"That's last orders Ted, I'm closing up soon." she said. She saw Dean moving nearer from the corner of her eye. She didn't look up – only at the cash register – as he sat down not far from her, but not too close to her either.

After a few moments Dean was feeling a bit uneasy, so spoke. "You got a beer for an old friend?" he asked.

'Tell me if you see one' she thought to herself. She looked up to see Sam come from the toilets and sit down next to Dean, marginally closer to her. 'Where there's one…'

"Sure," she said turning and grabbing two bottles, opening them and sliding them in Sam's direction, "on the house." she added.

A few awkward seconds passed, the old drunk left and now it was just the three of them. Dean drinking his beer caught Sam looking at him. He shrugged and mouthed 'What?' Sam realised he was on his own in this and even though Jo seemed to be busy with the register he couldn't let the silence continue.

"Look Jo," he began, "we meant to come and see you earlier."

"Yeah?" she said only half listening 'this shitty register!' she thought.

"Yeah, but we…"

"We had more important things to do." Dean interrupted gesturing his beer bottle forward.

Sam turned, open-mouthed to face Dean. Was he seriously related to this tactless moron? How did this guy charm so many girls into bed? Then he shook off his questions and quickly tried to do some damage control. "He didn't mean that."

'Yes I did,' Dean thought.

"Yes he did." said Jo not looking up. Dean smiled and stared at her for a while. Then she spoke again, "It's okay, my mom called me, told me what went down the other week."

"Oh." Sam finished. Was she letting him off the hook? Or just trying to end the conversation he was starting.

Jo continued to stare angrily at the cash register and push that goddamn button, the one that always let her down. She was aware that she had been stood staring at it for a long time now and that she probably looked really stupid. Normally she had some finesse with this broken-down piece of crap; a combination of shakes and pushes would cause the draw to 'bing' open every time, but with _him_ less than 5 feet away from her, her nerves were shot. All her cool was being used already. She was losing it and so she just hit the register harshly, once, twice, huffing loudly. "Oh for Christ's sake." she groaned.

"Can I help?" he said with all the calm that she'd lost, and all the charm all the ladies loved.

"No," she protested, but she was aware that it came out a little too harshly and so she added that she was fine to soften her reaction and try to lessen the emotion she showed him. She had to act like it didn't make her mind and body race to see him, even though it did. Right now she was so angry, but she couldn't let him see that he had that, or any other effect on her.

However this was Dean Winchester and Dean Winchester was persistent as hell. "Come on," he said slapping his right hand down and holding onto the top of the bar in front of him. He moved around the opening she had left propped up in her hurry to avoid him earlier, and keeping his right hand where it was for the time being he slid next to her and then closed the bar down behind him. Locking them in almost.

Sam looked at his brother with wary eyes, shaking his head. If Dean had noticed he would have only offered his brother a 'What's the big deal?' kind of wince anyway, but Dean didn't seem to even remember that 'Sammy' was still there. "let me help you." Dean continued, but with him getting closer and closer Jo collected herself – best she could – and made one last ditch effort. The register finally made the sound that she longer for and popped open for the hundredth time that day.

"I got it." she said forcing a smile his way.

Dean stopped smiling and seemed shocked for a minute as she began to move past him, but then when she got slightly stuck his smile returned. Her left hip had knocked into his right thigh and stopped her movement. For a second they stood bodies close, facing each other. The temptation to reach out and lay her palm on his chest – even if it was just to aid her in passing by – was immense and Dean seemed to sense what she was thinking.

Jo untangled her leg from between Dean's and made another attempt to pass him. She left him, lifting the moveable part of the bar and walking through it. It banged shut a second or two later, making Sam jump. He was glad Jo hadn't seen Dean smile, because he didn't know how she'd react. Maybe she would have hit him, or worse smiled back encouraging Dean to make a move on her – and with the way Dean had been acting these past few weeks Sam wouldn't put it past him to do just that – Whatever her reaction, he was sure that whatever happened wouldn't have helped their standing with her in the long run. And that would defeat the point of coming here.

Dean reached over the bar to grab his beer, but after taking a swig he stayed where he was, resting on his elbows, laid out diagonally leant on the bar like he owned the place. 'But then again,' Jo thought, 'didn't Dean Winchester own every room he walked into?' She tried not to look at him, but Dean wasn't so subtle. His eyes had locked onto her, or a certain part of her that he could see as she bent forward to wipe one table after another.

Sam glanced over his shoulder to see what had Dean's attention. As Dean's head tilted – almost turning upside down – Sam rolled his eyes and mentally kicked himself; what else had he expected Dean to be looking at? He turned to Dean with that disapproving glare.

"What?" Dean said standing up and taking another swig of his beer, "I'm only human."

"Do you remember why we're here?"

"Yeah. To make sure Jo doesn't spend her time throwing sharp objects at a picture of you." A little voice inside Dean internally replaced 'you' with 'me'. He could tell Jo was avoiding him, and he did think it was important to find out why and to sort it out, but like he'd said earlier, there were more important things. Time was running out for him. For Sam that meant searching for a way round it all, gaining allies, building networks that could help them, which was why they were here to settle the unfinished business with Jo – in case they needed her help later he guessed – but for Dean it meant something completely different. For Dean it meant that he only had so much ass-kicking time left, and that meant they had their work cut out for them if Dean was going to round up all the demons they had let out of hell and send them back where they belonged.

"Look Sam, I didn't want to come here, it was your idea. We've got a job to do you know."

"I know; believe me Dean, but when I suggested coming to see Jo you freaked. I'm not just here for me, I wouldn't do that when…" Sam paused because he saw Dean was looking down at his bottle – thumbing it up and down, focusing on the corner of it's label as he kept catching it – and avoiding any eye contact with him. He tried to continue in a more delicate way, but failed, "It was just your reaction Dean. It made me think that maybe you needed to come here too. If you and Jo need to talk about something, don't you think you should talk about it now, before…"

"You know you're not really supposed to be behind there." Jo said to Dean as she passed by the bar and entered the storeroom. Dean sleeked back to his seat next to Sam, but he didn't sit down. He grabbed his jacket off the back of the stool and put it on. Neither of them looked at each other; both were silently glad that she had walked by and spoken when she did, but Dean was pretty sure Sam would have stopped himself before he finished that sentence anyway, because they were both pretending. They were pretending that Dean wasn't going to die. Sam by believing there was some way to save him in time and Dean by ignoring it completely.

"Its time to go Sammy. Say your piece to her and then we can hit the road."

"Sure." Sam said dejectedly, watching the bubbles in his beer float upwards.

Next thing Jo came back out of the storeroom and hung up her apron on the hook with her name biroed above it. Dean doubted the other girls – whose names he saw written next to hers – looked half as good in an apron as she did. And with that thought he was out of there.

"Nice to see you again Jo." he said to her politely. Then he turned to Sam, "I'll be in the car."

Dean ran a hand through his hair and left and when he was gone Jo sighed taking the hands that she had placed on her hips and letting them fall to her sides. In doing so she had relaxed her frame to seem less threatening and she began to walk towards Sam. Standing next to him she couldn't help thinking how Sam really did feel like an old friend, one she didn't want to lose. This business was lonely enough as it was.

"Look Sam." she said trying to make it easy on him, "What happened back when I was in Duluth. It scared the crap out of me; and what you said…" Jo paused. She didn't want to speak about her dad, or his dad, just keep it about them, so she continued differently, "Look. Bottom line is it wasn't you. I'm a big girl, and whether my mom – or whoever believes it – I'm a hunter now too, so I understand that, and there's no issue between us."

Sam looked away, put down his beer and smiled. "Thanks." he said finally, huffing with relief.

"You're welcome…Now get your ass out of here." she joked.

"Bye Jo." He said smiling. His eyes apologising, but not only for him, but for whatever Dean had done. It didn't work though; _she_ didn't even know what he'd done. He hadn't called her. Was that it? Couldn't be, she hadn't expected him to.

Sam got up, turned round and headed out. Jo picked up the two beers and threw them in the empties. It was only after she heard the growl of the Impala echo into the distance that she went outside to lock up.

* * *

'What the hell?' Jo thought, still asleep – sort of – then there it was again, the sound that had woken her. Suddenly it was as if a light bulb got switched on in her head. Sleep left her and she realised that it was someone at her door. 

She threw the covers off herself, realising straight away that she wasn't dressed for visitors – in her thin, cotton tanktop and almost non-existent hotpants – but then who else would be at, "4 in the morning?!" she said out loud, because of the shock of seeing the blaringly clear red numbers on her clock.

The knock came again and she knew she didn't really have time to make herself look decent. She'd just smooth down her hair with her hands – which she did as she walked groggily into her living room – and put the chain on the door so she could hide behind it and wouldn't have to worry about it springing open and revealing her in erm…all her glory.

"Hmm?" she said as she pulled the door open. She didn't bother with coherent speech at this hour and she was so tired that she'd completely forgot all about her plan to hide behind her door. She hadn't even put the chain on.

"Whoa." Dean said, almost whistling in the hallway.

"Hmm?" she said again. Then she looked up to see him leaning against her doorframe with a devilish grin.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Through the fog, he remembered…

* * *

"Oh my God!" she said suddenly becoming aware and putting her left arm in front of her chest in an attempt to hide her cleavage. She kept a firm hold on the door with her right hand, because something told her she might feel the need to slam it shut in a minute.

"Yeah that worked." Dean sniggered, at her feeble effort to cover herself up.

"What the hell are you doing here Dean?" she said with strong eyes fixed on him.

"I've forgotten." he said dragging his gaze up, from her ankles to her thighs…very…slowly…

She rolled her eyes, dropping off her tiptoes and then frowning. She moved backwards and pushed the door shut, but he edged his foot forwards and stopped it.

"Now I remember." he said pushing his way passed her.

Jo sighed, closed the door, turned round and crossed her arms, "Well?"

Dean just turned to face her and raised an eyebrow.

She looked down at herself momentarily and then back at him. "You've seen everything now, no point worrying. Just say what you want to say and then you can leave and I can go back to bed…So why are you here?"

"Well, we need to settle stuff. We need to talk about why you avoided me back at the bar." 'And why I didn't want to come see you in the first place.' he added to himself.

"Daylight hours are good times to talk you know?"

"It is daylight hours." he smirked.

"You know what I mean." she returned.

"Yeah, but the thing is me and Sam are leaving in a few hours – we got a job – so I wanted to talk before we left."

"You mean you didn't want Sam to know you'd gone soft, so you told him there was nothing to talk about, then snuck out of your room while he was sleeping so he'd never know you came to see me."

"Psychics are scary." he joked, but then he saw Jo's serious face under the hand on her brow and he tried to be serious too, "Yeah; something like that."

Jo walked past him and sat down on the old leather couch she had. Eventually he sat beside her.

"Are you mad at me because I never called?" he asked bluntly, the only way he knew how to be.

"No." she replied, but when he looked at her she realised she was going to have to elaborate before he'd believe what she had said, "First off, I'm not really mad at you, not really," she continued, "and second, I knew you wouldn't call."

"Huh." Dean laughed, "Good old reliable Dean hey? Everyone knows he'll let them down." he mumbled.

"What?" she asked confused. She was still half asleep and lacking the concentration she needed to focus on what he was saying. All she could hear was the deep gravel sound his voice made. It gave her butterflies.

"Nothing; just thinking out loud." he said more clearly.

"Are we done?" she ventured.

"Are you that eager to get rid of me?" he joked.

"No." she said honestly, "Just _eager_ to get to bed."

Neither of them said anything or did anything for a while and then Jo broke the silence. "Where are you staying? Is it far?" 'Damn,' she thought 'I'd meant to pick one or the other to say, this isn't 'twenty questions'!' Her thoughts were so jumbled.

"No. Only about 20 minutes away."

Jo shivered and he immediately asked her if she was okay. She said she was just cold. She was, but she couldn't help but notice that he was now staring at her goosepimpled legs. When they locked eyes she almost completely forgot what she was going to say.

"Maybe I should get changed after all." She said finally, standing up. As she moved away Dean caught her right arm, just above her wrist. He stared at it and she turned her head back.

Both stayed still, confused by what had just happened until Dean spoke, "No; don't. I should go." was all he said.

"Gotta sneak back before Sam wakes up right?" she guessed.

"Yeah, but he doesn't even move a muscle until gone 9 some days. 'Cept that's my fault, I…" he stopped.

Jo turned fully round when he let go of her arm.

"Well, when he can sleep, I just let him." Dean finished.

Jo relaxed, softening a little and sat down opposite him on the edge of the coffee table. She was beginning to get to that point where she'd been awake so long, she wasn't sure she could get back to sleep even if she went to bed now, so she thought 'If you don't have to go, why don't you stay a while?' but she knew she couldn't ask him that. He'd stay if he wanted to stay, and he was saying he should leave.

He'd just let a piece of him go. With that insight he'd become exposed, vulnerable and he didn't feel comfortable with that. He should go; he said he would, but he stayed sat staring at her, forgetting how to put one foot in front of the other and leave. Then Dean kicked back into himself and he stood up. Jo was slightly relieved, as she had just been about to reach out for his hand, and by doing so probably embarrass them both.

"Okay." he said trying to avoid the view down her top that his new elevated position afforded him. Then Jo stood up too, and walked him to the door. She opened it and he stood to her right in front of it. All he needed to do was walk past her – in between her and the door – and go into the hallway and he'd be gone, but he hesitated again. This time he was just searching for a way to leave things with her, "So…"

"Yeah." she said, glancing at the floor, "I'd better be off to bed."

Images of her in bed came into his mind involuntarily – well him wrapped around her in her bed to be more specific – and he was sure his face was giving him away, so he covered his actual lust with a lustful joke, "Room for one more?"

"Huh?!" she declared, shocked, looking up at him.

"I was joking." he said, kicking himself for not realising she was in no state to find anything funny.

"Yeah. Of course you were…I'm just…" she rushed a hand to her temple and laughed, "I'm just tired."

He nodded as she swung the front door to and fro. He couldn't understand why that simple, easily breakable barrier – her holding the door – was preventing him from leaving for some reason.

"Are we okay?" he asked through the fog.

"Yeah." she smiled, "We're okay."

And with that he moved gently forward. Jo released the door and he made it all the way to the side of her before he hesitated again. He could smell the jasmine on her – of course he had no idea that was what it was – and it made his stomach tighten, sending messages somewhere else. His 'downstairs brain' took over immediately and made him lean in to smell her hair.

As he moved close Jo could smell him too; aftershave and that leather smell from his jacket that made her feel safe and warm somehow.

He moved his head down her neck. He took in the curve of it with his eyes, and moved his lips closer so his breath was hot and inviting, but kept far enough away so that he was teasing.

Her eyes were closed now and she looked as if she was going to fall, or was concentrating on not falling. To steady her – and also in an excuse to touch her – Dean brought his left hand up to rest on the inward curve of her waist, just above her right hip. He continued to breathe heavily at her neck and she had to bite her lip when his hand began to move slowly, skating up and down her skin and each time brushing her top up a tiny bit.

Dean was watching her and relished every sign of pleasure in her that he saw. Even though his own expression remained unflinching, hers gave away all those emotions she'd managed to keep hiding from him the day before.

Finally closing his eyes he let his lips brush along the side of her neck.

"Dean." she moaned.

Hearing her he hung his head, moving his lips away and letting his hand fall back to his side. He turned to look out into the hallway.

"I'm sorry." he said moving to leave, but Jo put a hand on his chest, pushing slightly, hard enough to halt him.

Dean got the message – she wanted him to stay – so he kicked the door shut behind him with the back of his foot. He walked to stand in front of her and watched her as she looked up at him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

Watching her sleep as she blindly hoped for miracles…

* * *

His fingertips grazed her hips for a moment and then he gripped onto them tighter; his thumbs were digging into her at the front. Jo gasped, but Dean seemed to mistake it for discomfort because he loosened his grip. His lips remained near to hers when she spoke. 

"I'm not fragile Dean." she whispered.

"I know." he replied, just before shoving her hard against the door behind them.

He looked at her as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't, so she did, "Right place, right time?" she panted.

"No," he said plainly – and they both knew it was true – "but I don't give a damn."

They were both breathing short and shallow breaths and Jo could feel his hard on growing in front of her. She needed to be closer, so she did the only thing she could do and ground her hips into him.

Her movement forced him to close his eyes and growl low in his chest. She almost closed her eyes too, because she'd misjudged how her actions would affect her.

He looked at her and then leaned forwards, crushing his lips against hers. The kiss was desperate, almost savage and it wasn't long before he teased her mouth open enough to take her tongue into a competition with his.

His left hand brushed her cheek, moving a yellow curl of hair behind her ear and then he cupped her face with one hand, while his other hand moved around her back and flattened against her spine, underneath her top – pushing her stomach into him.

Soon both of them were running out of breath and were forced to break away from each other.

"This isn't right." Jo managed to say between gasps.

"I know…" he said back, "We need a bed." As he said it he moved his hands to her thighs and encouraged her to wrap her legs around him, she did so and then he slid his hands to cup her ass.

He turned his head slightly to look for a door that could plausibly lead to a bedroom, and finding one turned back to her and kissed her again. He turned them both round and walked them towards it.

Jo knew it was wrong, but she couldn't think straight when his tongue was massaging hers and his hands were touching her in places she needed to be touched. He knew it was wrong too, but his 'downstairs brain' was running the show now, and she smelled so goddamn good that he couldn't stop himself.

When they got to her room he laid her down on the bed, stepping away for a second to peel off his jacket. If she had had more time this might have been the moment Jo regained her senses and saved herself from him, but he was back with her seconds later and so was the dizziness he caused in her.

He was at the end of the bed to start with, exploring her body. He lay kisses on the inside of her thighs, trying to avoid the space between them for now – which may have been the hardest thing he'd ever have to do – and instead moved to kiss her stomach, hands sliding over her hips and above him, under her top. Then he followed his hands, moving upwards as well and over her properly and put his lips and tongue against the space just below her collarbone.

Her hands – which had been gripping the sheet beneath her – now moved on him, sliding the shirt from his shoulders slightly and then giving up and gliding under his t-shirt and up his back. He moved, straddling her now and raised himself up so he could take them both off. Then he fingered the hem of her top and dragged it up slowly. She arched off the bed to help him remove it and then he pushed her back down and returned to what he had been doing before.

She reached down and took off his belt, he let her, but when she unzipped his jeans he grabbed her hands.

"Easy," he rasped against her neck, before dragging her arms up and pinning them above her head, "we'll get there." he assured her.

He wanted to take things slow, and part of her did too, but then another part of her told her to push her hips up and rub herself against his bulging trousers, which made him think 'What the hell?' they could go slow next time. He just needed to be inside her and he couldn't wait.

"Okay." he said between kisses, then took off his jeans and his boxers. He slid down her shorts with one hand and guided his erection with the other, but he stayed still for a moment just inside her opening, taking the sight of her in and trying to collect himself.

"What are you doing?" she asked him desperately.

"I was just looking." he smiled, "Problem with that?"

"Yeah," she breathed, "you're teasing me."

"I don't know what you mean." he whispered, edging himself a little deeper inside her, but nowhere deep enough – for either of them.

"Please Dean…" she whimpered, biting her lip and squirming.

Hearing her moan his name was enough to make him stop playing games. He couldn't hold on any longer, so he thrust into her, burying himself inside her, pushing his body flush against hers and nuzzling into the crook above her shoulder.

He bit down on her neck and then kissed it to sooth the bite. He pulled out almost completely and thrust again. When he sucked on her skin, she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

'Don't stop, don't stop.' She repeated in her head, thinking he'd be Dean again any minute and pull away, leaving her. "Oh God, Dean, don't stop." she said accidentally as his thrusts became more powerful and made her lose the ability to think silently.

"Believe me," he said thrusting again and moving his mouth to whisper in her ear, "I couldn't stop…even if I wanted to." Then he sucked her earlobe into his mouth and covered her neck and jaw with more kisses.

They made love until they were both exhausted and eventually they fell asleep. When he woke Dean's muscles ached, but he would be the first to admit it had definitely been worth the pain. He hardened just remembering how she'd writhed beneath him.

He bent over her to look at her face. Her lips were still red where he'd made them blush and her hair was all over her shoulders. He laid back behind her, brushed the hair from her neck and leant down. Then he stopped himself. He wanted to kiss her, to wake her and make love to her over again, but he couldn't. He moved his leg from in between hers and slid his left arm from under her head. She stirred but didn't wake up, so he continued to move away. He found his clothes, dressed quickly and went to look for something.

Dean found what he was looking for in the kitchen; some post-its and a pen. He leant the post-its against the fridge, but then pressed his forehead to the arm that held them there, knowing whatever he wrote would be a lie – especially if he wrote he'd call – So instead he just left, pausing at her bedroom door for a minute, watching her sleep before driving back to the motel.

When Jo woke up she blindly moved an arm out. When she didn't find him she grabbed the pillow he was meant to be laid on and pulled it close, curling around it. She'd be okay, but she'd been expecting a miracle, for him to be there, for them to at least speak before he left. But miracles didn't happen, only nightmares. That was the truth. Jo had seen other people's nightmares come true when she hunted, but miracles, the good things, things people hoped for, didn't happen. Never would.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

Last she'd heard, the ball was in his court…

* * *

It was weeks later, and Dean thought he was safe. Then she called him. He didn't answer it, or Sammy when he asked who it was. He just ignored it as if she never called. 

Over the next few days Dean kept his phone off all together, apart from when him and Sam were separated – they were on a job after all – but Jo still called. She just left him messages and every message was the same, she wanted to talk to him. Dean couldn't believe it, he'd gone to her place that night with the best intentions and now things were worse than ever. As Sam drove them back to Bobby's he realised he'd been stupid to think that what he did wouldn't make things worse. She obviously had feelings for him – her persistent phone calls proved as much – and he'd put fuel on the fire. Dean knew eventually this was going to cause worse problems, and Sam would kick his ass when he found out what he'd done.

* * *

He and Sam were staying at Bobby's according to her mom. She hadn't seen either of them recently – too busy with the Roundhouse – but the last she'd heard that's where they were. Jo had to talk to him so there or not she phoned Bobby, reading the numbers on the slip of paper and thumbing over the handwriting affectionately. 

"Dean? It's Jo, are you there?" she paused, thinking he could genuinely be out so she continued, "Look, I really need to talk to you; it's important and I don't want to have this conversation on Bobby's machine." She gave up; she decided this was the last time she would call. After this the ball was in his court. "Call me back." She sighed hanging up the phone.

* * *

Dean felt a small amount of relief as he and Sam walked through the door. "Bobby we're back!" he hollered, not expecting a reply just wanting to let him know it was them so they didn't get a shotgun in the face. 

Dean watched as Sam went to the kitchen, probably to get enough food and drink to last him the rest of the day, because he'd go up to his room and research the Crossroad's Demon until he fell asleep. Dean didn't mention it was pointless, just thought it. He walked into the room, pressed the message button on the answering machine and took off his jacket.

"Dean? Its…" he stopped the message quickly. He knew who it was.

"Did I hear something?" Sam said popping a head round the door.

"No. Nothin'." Dean replied.

Sam disappeared again and Dean put his hand to his forehead. When he heard Sam go upstairs he reached his hand out and pressed the button again.

"o, are you there?" there was a pause and then, "Look, I really need to talk to you; it's important and I don't want to…" The message continued to play as Dean looked up and saw Bobby standing across from him. Dean suddenly felt guilty because Bobby gave him a look, only a fraction of that disappointed look he gave him the time he confronted him about his deal for Sam, but it was enough.

Bobby was always just his dad's friend – well fellow hunter – but with everything that they had been through recently he was more than a friend to Dean. He could never replace his father, but Bobby was the closest thing to a father figure Dean had. He didn't know how old the message was, hadn't checked if it was a new, blinking message, but Bobby had been home a few days now, so it was highly unlikely he hadn't heard it yet.

When Bobby left the room without a word Dean played it again to hear what he'd missed. When he heard "Call me back." he paused the message and deleted it. He'd messed things up. Jo was a friend to both of them – or something like – and he shouldn't have complicated things. He'd never slept with someone he'd expected to see again – even Cassie at the time – so he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to fix this, so he went to bed and tried to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

I guess I thought I could forget, but she didn't knock…

* * *

As she drove, Jo couldn't stop her mind racing. Was she doing the smart thing, driving halfway across the country to talk to him? At this point she had come too far literally and mentally to turn back. If he wasn't there maybe Bobby would know where he was; one way or the other she'd have to have the talk with him she wanted soon. Now she questioned whether she still wanted to have it. 

She parked her car a way down the drive, hoping a longer walk to the door would give her a chance to build up some of the confidence she'd lost on the drive here. As she walked a man came out of the house, fixing his jacket and pulling on his cap. He stopped when he saw her, "Can I help you miss?" he asked.

"Bobby?"

"Jo?" the man asked, recognising her voice slightly from the answering machine and narrowing down the options of who it could be. She also looked a little like Ellen.

"Yeah." she said, "Is…"

"He's here." Bobby said walking to his truck.

"Thanks." she replied quietly, trudging up the path to the door.

She didn't knock – didn't see the point – after all it was Bobby's house and Bobby had just left; she heard his truck rumble away as she stepped inside. She walked around the place slowly, because she didn't know the layout and she didn't want to bump into Dean and surprise him too much. Then it happened 'bang' and she collided into someone when she opened a door. Luckily it was Sam and after he realised it was her he smiled, a little confused and said hey.

"What you doing here Jo?"

She hesitated. Dean hadn't told him? Of course he hadn't. He probably wanted to forget it ever happened, like she had tried to. God this was a mistake she thought, but she was here now. "I erm…I'm here to talk to Dean."

"He's outback." Sam told her, still confused, "You staying here a while?" He was partly curious why she needed to talk to Dean, but he figured it was to do with what he hadn't said to her at their last meeting, when Sam had made up with her and Dean had refused to.

"I might be."

"Well I'm off upstairs, but I'll be down later. If you're still here I'll see you then."

She smiled at him as he squeezed past her heading for the stairs. She took a deep breath and headed through the door in front of her, in the direction Sam had pointed when he had said Dean was outback.

She could see him through the net of the back door; he was changing a tyre on his car. She could see the muscles on his back through his t-shirt and seeing his biceps flexing when he cranked the jack made it hard for her not to think about how safe it felt to be in those strong arms.

The wind hit her cheeks and blew her hair around as she stepped out of the house and off the back porch.

"Dean?" she called, standing still, away from him so not to crowd him.

"Jo." he said softly when he turned around. "What is it?"

"I need to talk to you and…look can we go inside?" she said hoping to be sat down when she talked to him.

"Okay." was all he said as he reached for a rag and wiped his hands on it. He threw it away suddenly and walked past her to the living room. After a minute she followed him, finding him sat on a chair at one of Bobby's desks.

"You didn't return any of my calls." She waited for a response, but because it was more of a statement than a question Dean avoided it completely, so she started again, "I just wanted to talk to you. Why didn't you call me?"

"I don't know."

It was an honest answer, but it wasn't good enough for Jo. "I need an explanation." she stated.

"I guess I thought if I ignored your calls, I could forget." was the one she got.

Jo nodded, tears in her eyes and tried to look away. Dean didn't look at her, he didn't want to see her cry, because then he'd have to do something and he didn't know what to do.

"Forget." she said under her breath. Then her voice was suddenly loud, "Thanks a lot Dean! You know that's just prefect; what every girl wants to hear!" Neither of them knew where _that_ came from.

"God Jo, I didn't know what to say!" he was aware he was shouting, but couldn't stop himself, "You come here, turn up, out of the blue and I'm just trying to be honest with you!"

Dean had stood up and faced away from her during his rant, but then he heard footsteps on the stairs and turned back. Sam came into the room looking around for something. He'd heard shouting and didn't know what to think, after all Jo had seemed pretty calm a few minutes ago.

"Sorry." he said closing the door again.

"Sam, wait!" Dean shouted, "Come in and join the fun."

Sam looked over at Jo, who was trying to hide the fact that she was brushing tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket.

"I, erm…I don't think…"

"No seriously Sam, stay. Maybe you can save me from being castrated."

Sam reluctantly ventured in and leant against a desk in the corner opposite them both. He didn't know what Dean was up to; neither did Dean. Maybe he was hoping that if Sam was there, Jo would drop the whole thing.

Jo ripped off her jacket and flung it on top of some books. "You're such an asshole sometimes." she spat bitterly.

"Jo…" Sam said quietly. He was trying to stop her from saying something she'd regret. The only way he could think to do that was to tell her about Dean, but he'd kill him if he did, so he just made that one word his feeble attempt for now.

"Well he is!" she said turning to Dean, who was now staring at her angrily. "You're a total dick. First _you_ turn up at my flat in the middle of the night, and then you dodge my phone calls; don't return my messages. I don't understand?! What did I do?!"

Sam could see Jo was getting more and more upset. There was more to all this than he knew by the sounds of it. When did Dean go to see her? When did she call him?…It didn't matter, he was going to stop this.

"Dean, I think you should tell her."

"What?! No!" Dean shouted, turning to face him fiercely.

"Tell me what?" Jo asked.

"Nothing!" he barked at her.

"What is wrong with you Dean? Why are you yelling at me?!"

"_You're_ yelling at _me_!"

"Tell her Dean!" Sam said raising his voice to match theirs.

"Leave it Sam, I said no!"

"Tell me what?!" Jo screamed.

"I died!" Sam shouted.

Dean hung his head and Jo held her breath.

"I died, and Dean…Dean made a deal, with a demon." he paused as Jo turned to look at Dean – who was looking away – and then back at him.

"I don't understand." said Jo, "What are you telling me?"

"Jo, Dean made a deal, as in my life for his kind of deal. The demon brought me back and Dean…"

"I've got one year." Dean said looking up, but not at her, "Or I _had_ one year."

"What?" she said, feeling like her whole body had just been crushed.

"I'm dead." he said plainly, "In about 10 months, I'm out of here."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked him, devastated.

"I had more…"

"Important things to do?! Jesus, Dean!" she shrieked, the emotional switch in her body making an abrupt change from upset to anger again. Then she realised something and her eyes glazed over. "So that's why you slept with me?"

Sam looked up and at Dean. Now he really wished he hadn't come into this conversation. Dean looked at him hurt and Sam looked back disgustedly at his brother, but more so when he actually had the stupidity to turn to her and answer her.

"Yeah." he said emotionless.

Jo nodded repeatedly, biting her lip in frustration. She grabbed her jacket and walked out. The old front door clattered behind her.

Sam glared at Dean, trying to make him feel guilty and soon after he snapped and ran to follow her.

"I didn't mean it like that Jo!" he called after her, but she wouldn't stop, or even slow down.

It had started raining and it hit them both heavily. Dean was only wearing a thin shirt and it clung to him, immediately making him feel the cold. Jo's hair was getting darker and darker as the rain lashed down and it was only when she reached her car that Dean finally caught up with her and spun her round by the arm.

"Dean let go of me!" she cried, even though she ripped her arm free from him anyway a second later before he had the chance to.

"Jo, back there it all came out wrong."

"You bet it did." she bit back.

"Damn it Jo; let me finish!" he snapped.

She settled, looking up at him with those big eyes and waited for him to continue.

"Look this deal. I'm…it's not the reason I slept with you. You know I've wanted to jump your bones since we met, but you're…"

"A school girl?"

"No, you're a friend." As soon as he said it he cringed, so did she. There's a word he never thought he'd say, and a word she never wanted to hear from him. "What I meant back there was that if it wasn't for everything I'm going through I wouldn't have risked that and given into…erm, my 'downstairs brain'."

Jo let all her fight go. She could tell he was being honest with her, though she wasn't quite sure why he had said 'downstairs brain.'

"Look stay here tonight…You shouldn't drive in this."

She thought about commenting on how she knew he really meant she _couldn't_ drive in this, but she said nothing; instead she and Dean ran inside, straight into the living room shaking off the water.

Dean couldn't help but notice how hot Jo looked soaking wet, raindrops sliding down her face, her chest, running down into her…Damn it! Where was Sam to keep his mind clean? He must have gone upstairs again already.

Jo yawned wide and Dean raised his eyebrow, afraid she might suck him in with her yawn and said, "You could catch flies with that."

"Sorry." she yawned again, "I'm just so tired recently."

"How come?" he said sounding as thought he actually cared.

"I wasn't used to the hunting lifestyle. I'm trying to catch up on my sleep now though." Dean totally missed the past tense she'd used, so she just moved on, "Not like you; it suits you."

"Yeah. I love all this 'fucking and fighting' crap." he replied honestly, but innocently.

"Well, I haven't been up to doing either recently." she laughed, relaxing into the strange and awkward small talk.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. Receiving a raised eyebrow from her this time he quickly added, "Oh, I meant the fighting." He wasn't falling into the sex conversation trap.

"I've given up hunting."

"When?"

"Well I decided for myself a few weeks ago, but I hit a slump about when….erm, when you and Sam came to see me. So I haven't hunted in a month or longer."

"But I don't understand. It's why you left home, your mom."

"I…"

"Never mind." he said realising what happened the last time they were alone and sharing stories, "Its none of my business." He smiled, but shut down from her, walking out of the room and into the kitchen.

He leant against the counter, arms outstretched, hanging his head. He didn't want Jo to drive back in this weather, but the reality of her staying the night had finally hit him. She'd be here now and in the morning, and it would be hard to avoid her in this place. He could only hope that Sam had accidentally stumbled across a random job during his Red Eyed Demon research and that he could get him to admit to it – as Sam didn't normally, because he didn't want anything else to eat away at the amount of time he had to help Dean – That would mean he could at least get away from her tomorrow morning. He tried to collect himself; tried to think of something to say to her. He thought it was best to just act normal and then make an excuse to go to bed.

Jo sat by the radiator, hair dripping.

"You know you should really get out of those wet clothes." Dean said coming into the room after being gone for quite along time.

"Yeah, well I didn't bring any others, so unless you expect me to walk around here naked?"

He paused; thinking; thinking he shouldn't say it, but then he said it anyway, "Well remember when you said I'd seen everything already so no point worrying? Well, I don't see why those rules don't apply now."

Jo smiled, "Okay." and began to lift her top up revealing her mid-drift.

"Whoa, hold on a minute! I was joking!"

Jo replaced her top, smoothing it down, "I know. I was just screwing with ya." She paused, then remembering why she was here she continued, "Look, Dean…"

"Hey Jo, you okay?" said Sam coming into the room with an empty glass and heading for the kitchen.

When he came back through she replied "Yeah. Thanks Sam."

Dean saw this as a perfect opportunity to leave – if she didn't want to have this conversation over Bobby's machine he guessed she wouldn't cause a scene in front of Sam – "Well, I'm going to get me some shut-eye." he said, "Night Jo." and with that he strolled past Sam, who left with him. Then Jo was all alone. Well…that's what they thought.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

When she asked for him something was wrong…

* * *

Jo could hear voices downstairs as she woke, wishing she hadn't been given Dean's room. He'd slept on the floor of Sam's room, but that wasn't the problem, it was that everything smelt like him, and now she had slept there, everything smelt of them. 

She got dressed – she'd had to sleep in her underwear – and went downstairs, pausing before she got to the door of the living room, because she heard her name.

"Maybe Jo could stick around." she heard Sam suggest.

"Not after everything that's happened. Are you crazy?" Dean said firmly. "Besides," he continued, "what good is she? I told you she's stopped hunting."

"Hmm, I suppose you're right."

"Look, she probably wouldn't even want to come with us."

"Maybe I would." she said entering the room.

"Jo?" Dean stared for a while, then his senses came back, "But you're out of practice. Hunting isn't like riding a bike you know."

"I know, but maybe I could help…Don't worry, cowboy. I'll still let you run the show."

Dean smiled and looked at Sam whose eyes pleaded with him. He knew Sam liked having Jo, or someone else there with them recently; it meant less danger, less chance he'd lose Dean any earlier than planned – three heads were better than two and all that.

"Okay." he said finally, "Go get your boots on sweetheart."

* * *

Why had she agreed, practically asked to come along? Dean had been right, she was out of practice, and she would be useless. More than that though; she had no place on this or any hunt anymore, which is why she'd given it all up. 

She slumped in her seat until she saw Dean's eyes in the rear view mirror looking at her; then she straightened herself up.

"What we hunting anyway?" she asked, partly because she hated the silence, and partly because she liked to know what she was walking into, before she actually walked into it.

"Just your garden variety demon." Dean drawled.

"And by that he means dangerous and powerful." Sam added, cocking his head at Dean, then looking at Jo behind him.

"Why can't it ever be something fun Sammy? Like a Succubus."

"Do I wanna know what that is?" the lesser-experienced Jo asked.

Sam just shook his head and turned back to face the road in front of him.

The lines on the road had merged together and were making Jo sleepy. She leant her head back a bit and the next thing she felt the car stop.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty." Dean said, purposely not turning round, just exiting the car to avoid seeing her laid out half asleep.

Jo got out of the car and saw the shitty motel before them. 'This should be nice.' she thought sarcastically. She slammed the door to and followed close behind Dean.

They'd briefly discussed it before leaving and agreed that with a demon on the loose they should all stay in one room to keep close, and either Dean or Sam would sleep on the floor. They kept to this plan, and when it was Dean's turn on the second night, Jo couldn't help but sit up in her bed, watch him sleep and try to stop herself from calling his name to offer him a place next to her. She lay back just putting her weakness down to everything she was going through.

The days went slowly, only made eventful by the occasional awkward moment when Dean and Jo would bump into each other or when no one had anything to say.

Dean did most of the fieldwork on this job, probably in an excuse to avoid Jo who wasn't feeling well most days and so stayed with Sam and did research. She hardly saw Dean except at night and so they never had the time to talk that she hoped this trip would give them.

Eventually they tracked down the demon and confronted it.

"Jo!" Dean screamed as the demon held her by the neck. Her legs were dangling, feet stretching down to try and scrape the floor. Then the demon threw her against the wall so hard it almost knocked her unconscious. She rolled over groaning and closed her heavy eyelids. She could hear noises, fighting, talking – unusual speech, something she didn't recognise – and she wanted to know what was happening, but minutes passed in seconds and by the time she fought her body enough to roll back over and open her eyes, it was all over and Dean was rushing to her side.

"Jo?! Jo?!" he bellowed, cupping her face as she slipped away again. Her head lolled to the side and he shook her body in blind panic. Her eyes opened and she reached for his hand. He squeezed hers when she asked for him.

"Dean?"

"I'm here." he whispered to her. Then he turned to Sam who was stood in shock behind him. Dean's eyes told him that he didn't know what to do.

"Dean, something's wrong." she said, "I feel strange."

"Its okay Jo. Everything's going to be okay." he said, repeating it almost like a chant, over and over, trying to convince himself as well as her. 'Not like Sam.' He kept thinking. Don't you do this to me, like Sam did.

Then she said it again, this time pulling his hand to her stomach, "Something's wrong, Dean."

Dean turned to Sam again, "We need to do something. Help me!"

Sam hurried over and Dean motioned to the door. Sam held it opened whilst Dean picked Jo up and carried her outside, her head rested against his shoulder. Sam then rushed after them. Dean laid her down in the backseat of the Impala, but when he moved away she grabbed his hand again.

"I tried to tell you." she said.

"Shh." he said, letting her go as she almost fell unconscious again.

"Sam!" he yelled.

When Sam came round to him he whispered to him, "I'll drive. You sit in the back with her." Sam nodded as Dean raced to open the driver's door. "And don't let her fall asleep!" he shouted.

* * *

"Doc!" Dean yelled seeing the doctor he'd handed Jo over to, almost literally. 

The doctor had been looking for Dean; experience told him he was someone who would drive the staff crazy with questions if he wasn't kept up-to-date every few minutes. It was understandable though.

"Doc, tell me. Is she gonna be okay?" his eyes darted between the doctor's. Sam sat behind him, holding his breath.

"She should be fine." the doctor said, and both brothers made a sigh of relief in unison. Dean turned to Sam and Sam smiled at him.

Dean turned back to the doctor, "And…"

"And the baby's fine too."

That wasn't what he was going to ask. Dean was going to say 'and you're sure sh…'…wait a minute…'what the hell?'

"What the hell?"

Sam stood up and moved closer to Dean.

"W…w…wait just a minute." Dean stuttered, making overly large gestures with his hands on each beat of the sentence. He looked back at Sam, then the doctor.

"I'm so sorry." the doctor said confused, "I thought you knew. I thought that was what you were going to ask about."

"No!" Dean said a little too loudly.

"Okay Dean, how about we use our inside voice." Sam said putting a hand on Dean's shoulder. He was sure his brother was going to faint, or hyperventilate, which would have been highly amusing, if it wasn't for the circumstances.

Dean couldn't believe it.

…"I need to talk to you; it's important."…

Was that it all along; what she'd been trying to tell him.

…"I tried to tell you."…

"Oh my God. I'm going to be a dad."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

Never; a promise he couldn't keep…

* * *

Dean rushed in, closely followed by Sam who was running too, but less panicked. Dean's head searched around, and eyeing the front desk he raced forward almost crashing into it. Sam didn't leave his side. 

"Jo Harvelle." Dean blurted out. The receptionist tapped away and then suddenly stopped. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking at her then trying to lean over the desk to look at the computer screen.

"Nothing." she said, "I just remember her; room 121." She laughed and then added, "She left you a message, I think."

"What did she say?" asked Sam.

"You can tell Dean, he's an absolute son of a…" then she mouthed the word 'bitch' and continued, "and he better get his ass in here right now."

"Charming." Dean said, slightly relieved that she was well enough to pre-plan insult him, but then momentarily fearing for his life.

"Yeah. We don't normally take messages from patients at reception, but she was quite insistent."

"I bet she was." Dean said turning to his brother. He knew he had to do the next bit on his own and it scared him to death. He hugged Sam quickly, not thinking and sped away to find Jo.

"Ahh!" That's one noise he's never heard Jo make before. He almost ran straight past her room, but managed to grab hold of the doorframe and pull himself inside.

"You're in big trouble, Winchester!" Jo said, pulling herself up, straining on her arms.

"Hey, Jo. How you doing?" he said uneasily.

"Huh; can you believe this guy?" she breezed, hoping one of the hospital staff running around would hear her, "He does this to me, then asks how I'm doing. I'm doing just fine thanks!" she managed to fuel out, before another contraction had her groaning.

"Don't push yet." the doctor said. Jo nodded through clenched teeth then blew out some air slowly and smiled.

Dean saw her smile and so reached for her hand, but she frowned again and snatched it away. "Where the hell have you been!" she snapped.

"I got here as soon as I could, Jo." he said assuring her.

"Yeah. I'm sure you…Ahh!" With that she grabbed the top of his hand and squeezed it 'til he thought it might break – God pregnant women were strong – but instead of pulling away he turned his hand so their palms touched and she could hold on easier – She still hurt him though.

Suddenly she relaxed and flopped on the bed and he brushed the hair up from her forehead. She looked up at him then with pleading eyes and said, "I can't do this Dean." as if he could take it all back.

"Yes you can. We'll do it together."

She rolled her eyes and turned her head at the stupidity of what he'd just said. It was her who was going to have to give birth, not him!

"Okay. Now the next time you feel a contraction, you can push." The doctor said.

Jo turned her head forward suddenly panicked and confused. She looked at Dean. "Don't leave me." she begged, gently squeezing his hand.

"Never." he said, brushing her hair up again. Both would have realised that was a promise he couldn't keep, that's if another contraction hadn't come.

With Dean's free hand supporting her back, rubbing it encouragingly, she pushed.

* * *

The nurse had taken the baby away and Dean was standing on his tiptoes, trying to see what she was doing. He'd just found out he had a baby girl, but when the nurse brought her back to Jo he was told that because she was premature they were going to take her away for a while. After a few minutes with her he'd have to say goodbye and his stomach knotted, even though he had 3 months left. 

As he looked down at Jo and she looked down at their daughter he knew things were going to have to change. They couldn't be carefree and go on the way they had been the last few months; pretending it was healthy that they'd been…he didn't even know what to call what they'd been doing. It wasn't just that they'd been sleeping together; it was that they'd been acting normal in between. Not that their sex habits didn't concern him now Jo had actually given birth to his child. The first time had just meant to be a one off…

_..."Dean am I ugly?" Jo asked, sitting up slightly. The legs she had draped over Dean's pulled away as she moved her back further towards the arm of the couch. Dean was laid out at the other end – moulded into the leather like he almost belonged – arms hanging across the back and side of the old sofa._

_"Is that a trick question?" he asked cautiously, lightly grabbing hold of her ankles. Of course she wasn't ugly. She had always been hot and she was only showing a little bit. He even doubted that she would be any less attractive when she was ready to pop the kid out, but Jo's eyes looked serious, and her smile was gone; that smile that has caused him to look away from the TV earlier and stare at her. She'd captured him and he'd had to get up and get himself a beer from the fridge – she had one for a change – just to break away. He'd put it down to lack of getting any, as he'd promised her he wouldn't sleep with anyone until the baby was born, because she'd confessed her hormones were starting to go crazy on her and she knew she'd get jealous even though she didn't mean to. He'd actually kept his promise for 2½ months now, figuring that he better, because her woman's intuition would just 'know' if he didn't. Women were weird that way. Anyway bottom line, Dean would get turned on by anything with a pulse right now, so he tried to forget how her smile had affected him and gone back to sit with her._

_Now he couldn't help but remember, because he felt responsible for letting that smile slip away._

_"You're not ugly." he said releasing his grip and instead just letting his palms lay flat on the tops of her calves, "In fact, far from it. You're a total hottie." he said smiling playfully._

_"Well, that's not how I feel."_

_Dean didn't know why he was here most of the time. He told himself it was to make things easier, better, to make Jo feel better, more comfortable with everything, but junk food and DVDs hadn't seemed to work. They'd been Jo's idea anyway._

_Jo had ordered takeaway and some movies when he said he was going to be calling around. She thought that at least if they ended up sitting in silence they could watch the films, or blame it on having mouths full of food, but that hadn't happened. They had got on okay, which was strange. They had sat there, acted as if he hadn't gotten her knocked up, and like he wasn't going to die and it was definitely strange. She didn't even know why he came round, but she knew – and hated to admit – that she'd be upset if he didn't. All they ever did was laze around until Sam came and picked him up, like 'visiting hours' were over. She just wanted him to do more; to stay the night. She wanted him; god she just wanted to be touched! This pregnancy was driving her insane and there were months to go yet! She didn't know how to tell him; how to ask him for the release and comfort that she needed. All this was his fault and he could make it all better, if he just slid his hands higher. A lot higher._

_He couldn't help but think all this was his fault and that he needed to make up for it. His confession hadn't convinced her though; she was still down and he didn't know what to do._

_"No one would look twice at me now." she continued, hoping he'd get the message. God he was dumb! All men were._

_Now Dean felt so guilty, after all he was the reason she felt unattractive, because she was carrying his kid. Fact was she wasn't ugly, but Dean Winchester only knew one way to make a girl feel gorgeous, and he didn't think jumping her bones would be wise, or well received._

_"Oh for God's sake, Dean!" she finally said impatiently._

_"What?" he said taking his hands quickly away from her legs._

_Angered that he'd backed away so still didn't get it, she swung her legs off the sofa altogether. "Oh my god. How dumb are you?!"_

_"Erm…"_

_"It was a rhetorical question Dean! Jesus Christ!" She hung her head, shaking it with a mock-amused grin._

_"I'm sure this is my fault, but how?" Dean said, sitting up and holding his forehead._

_"Yes Dean." Jo barked. She didn't mean half the things she was going to say, but she said them anyway, "This is your fault. Like it's your fault that I'm pregnant and it's your fault I'm fat…"_

_"Your not…"_

_"Don't interrupt me!"_

_"Okay. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it." he said, hoping he could calm her down somehow._

_"I want you to kiss me."_

_"Okay…wait, what?!"_

_"Please Dean." she begged, "These damn hormones! I just need to feel…I'm just so…"_

_"What?"_

_"Horny!" she said loudly, unashamedly. "All the time!"_

_"Jo, I really don't think we…"_

_"You asked me what I wanted; this is what I want, need Dean. You made me this way. Fix it!"_

_"Don't get me wrong Jo; it's not that I don't_ _want to…'fix you' – **Believe me!** – It's just…"_

_"Whatever." she said wringing her hands_

_"Jo…"_

_"Yeah." she huffed, letting him know she wasn't going to bother, "God I thought I could at least rely on you for one thing."_

_After that Dean suddenly lunged forward, crashing their mouths together, rolling his tongue in to meet hers. His hands grazed her left thigh and pulled her legs back on the sofa. He straddled her, still kissing, but even though she was lost in the wondrous movements of his tongue she was uncomfortable._

_"Wait." she said protesting, with a hand on his chest gently pushing him away._

'_Oh god, don't change your mind now. I haven't had sex in 2 and ½ months.' Dean thought. Thankfully Jo pushed him again, fiercely so that he was on his back and **she **was straddling **him**._

_"That's better." she said._

_Dean almost thought he liked her assertiveness, but she started kissing him and he stopped thinking. Then his brain let him have one last thought and his hand came up to touch her cheek, gently moving her away a little to break the kiss; she looked a little annoyed._

_"Is this good for the baby?" he asked lowering his brow and tilting his head._

_Jo smiled and leant forward to brush her lips teasingly close to his. "What's good for me is good for the baby." She took his lower lip into her mouth and bit down, causing Dean to groan and shift his hands to feel her ass. "And this," she continued, rolling her hips against his hard on, "is really good for me right now." He smiled just before she said, "She'll be fine."_

_"He." he corrected._

_"She." She protested before Dean made their lips collide again to silence her…_

After that they settled into a routine, it took time, the next few times, started off unsure – like that – but it got to a point where they'd go straight to bed every time he came over. Dean would call round after every hunt. She always had beers in the fridge for him, but he hardly ever drunk them because as soon as he got through the door she'd throw her arms around him and kiss him deeply. He felt the relief in her each time growing greater; he was alive and safe for one more night. She'd look a little different each time and he was more wary each time. Each time he'd tell her she was still beautiful and she'd say she wasn't, so he'd say she was still beautiful to him, because she was.

They didn't say they loved each other; didn't complicate it with that; didn't think about how complicated things were already and how fucked up it was to do this every time. Sometimes if Jo wasn't up to it they'd just kiss and lay in each other's arms. Her head laid on his chest listening to hear that his heart was still beating – even though she knew he had months left – his hand across her stomach just in case the baby kicked – to remind himself that he was already a dad and not to think about when he wouldn't be, because he had months left – They'd just stay still and know that this was wrong; that when the baby was born they'd have to stop being fuck buddies, and both knowing that being more would be impossible, because they couldn't have a future together.

'Remember that…this' Dean thought as he brushed a wet strand of hair from Jo's face and she looked up at him with their daughter, as if to say 'Look what we did.' 'This is the closest thing you'll ever get to having a family that you started. This is the closest you'll get and you know it's a lie, because you're dying, and even though you've got feelings for her and she's got feelings for you, you'll never be man enough to admit it and she'll never make you admit it. You'll go on pretending you don't want more; more time, more with her. You'll pretend until it's too late, because you have to, because you won't let yourself start something you won't be here to finish.'

Then she smiles at him and he pretends he wasn't thinking about what he was thinking about. He puts an arm around her and leans his forehead to her cheek until she turns her head and they're forehead to forehead, eyes closed; happy they've got over one hurdle; trying to regroup before the next one.

* * *

_AN:- Thought I'd leave an author's note, because this is Chapter 7, and I've written 14 Chapters to this story so we're half way through (though I have written some of the sequel and the sequel to that lol)...the following 7 Chapters will be up as soon as I've edited them...they should be up every few days, but I do start Uni next week so it may take me a few days longer than usual to put them up..._

_The real reason I'm leaving an author's note is that I just wanted to thank everyone for reading this...I never expected a response, nevermind such a positive one, so thankyou for the comments, and please keep commenting (it really does brighten up my day - even if you did all guess about the baby lol!)...anyway like I said keep reading, because we are only half way through, and if you like the way it goes I am planning 2 sequels..._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

Make her forget who's going to protect her when I'm gone…

* * *

When they take her away he feels like someone ripped his guts out, but he smiles excitedly when he tells Jo he wants to go tell Sam the good news. He kisses her forehead as if to thank her for something; she's not quite sure what, but he's being affectionate so she holds his face with one hand to return the outreach and to hold him there a little longer than he would like, because it makes leaving harder. 

He couldn't stay in a room with her right now, on his own at least. He didn't know what he might say in the moment. Anyway he _did_ want to see Sam.

Sam's sat staring at some advice poster, not really reading it, just twiddling his thumbs. Dean comes in and sits down, a smirk on his face as he picks up a magazine. He fickly throws it back down just as quickly as he picked it up.

Sam laughed, "Well?"

"Well what?" Dean asked still smiling. Then clicking his fingers in a faux-recognition, "Oh the baby? Oh yeah; it's a girl."

Sam jumped up and hugged his brother, Dean hugged him back, "Oh god Sam; she's beautiful."

Sam backed away holding back a smile, trying to be serious, because he was, "I'm really happy for you Dean."

"Yeah." Dean said tugging his lip into his mouth and folding his arms, "Look you should come and see Jo; I wanna go see the baby and I've left her alone." he said, nodding towards the door, "Okay?"

"Yeah." Sam replied, "Wait…The baby?"

Dean looked blankly at him.

"You're not…I mean Jo didn't?…Never mind."

"Okay." Dean said, almost running out the door, obviously not listening to him.

* * *

"Hello? Up for visitors?" Sam said carefully. 

"Erm…Yeah; okay." Jo replied reluctantly. She loved Sam; he'd become a good friend – and it helped that he seemed to know a little bit what Dean was thinking when she didn't – but she didn't look her best. She wasn't really up for visitors, but she could pretend she was.

"You okay?" he asked, coming to stand next to her bed,

"No…Yes…I don't know. I feel a little weird."

Sam nodded like he understood, even though they both knew he didn't.

"Where's Dean?" she asked. She was missing him and knew Sam wouldn't judge her if she asked him and he saw it in her.

"With the kid." They both nodded. "By the way," he said, adjusting himself to lean against her bedside table, "have you told him about…"

"No." Jo jumped in sombrely, "I haven't brought it up yet."

"It isn't a big deal Jo. Well, it won't be if you just tell him."

"It is a big deal Sam; it means a lot to me and I don't know what he's going to say."

"Well if it's that important to you, then you need to talk to him about it. He's in the greatest mood I've ever seen him in, so I think now's the time."

"I know," she said almost smiling, but then hugging it back when thinking about what she was going to say next, "and I don't want to spoil it." She paused, then "Could you…"

"No way Jo; it's not my thing. I'm not gonna convince him, and besides he'll think it's weird I'm asking him and you're not…just like I do."

Jo laughed, "I meant could you go and fetch him for me?"

Sam joined in the laughing, "Oh…Sure." He leaned in and kissed Jo's forehead before leaving. She closed her eyes, remembering Dean's kiss; thinking how like each other they were; then thinking that Sam's kiss didn't mean anything, so maybe neither did Dean's.

* * *

"Hey." said Sam coming to stand next to his brother. 

"Hey." Dean replied, turning slightly, but only slightly before swivelling back round to face the glass.

Other parents were banging on it; waving. Dean was stood back calmly, arms crossed. He was happy, but he was still Dean Winchester, cool and collected. He smiled, an almost fulfilled smile, but he hadn't had a complete personality transplant, so he wasn't going to go all 'coochy-coo' on Sam's ass – much to Sam's disappointment, because that was something Sam would have _loved_ to have seen.

Dean's eyes were fixed on her; his baby girl, all pink and cute; all 'fingers and toes' whatever that meant. Sam looked at her too, but not too much, so that he noticed Dean out of the corner of his eye sway forward a little when she murmured loudly and knocked her blanket away. She was just moving though and Dean knew it. Knew she'd be okay, for now.

"You see that?" he said, a choke in his throat.

Sam couldn't tell if it was a tear or just his gravely voice, but he replied, "Yeah. I see that."

"I did that, Sam. I did that." he continued as he stared forward. His voice sounded in awe, unbelieving and then what he said next was so real, so practical, "And who's gonna protect her? When I'm gone?"

"You're not going anywhere." Sam butted in, turning to him, arms folded already and with a stern, unmoving face.

"Sam…" Dean stressed; he was pleading for no arguments. He turned to his brother, just wanting him to let him say what he needed to. "Sam, you know what I'm asking, right? You'll be there, won't you? For Jo? For…" his voice broke again and this time Sam knew it was an emotional break, because Dean turned back to look at baby and blanket and hesitated before finishing, "For her?"

"I'll be there Dean," Sam said looking at the floor then at his brother, "but so will you."

Dean laughed a little, cracking a smile and bobbing his head before looking at Sam. He just never gave up on him. He really was trying to prove what he'd said that night, that looking after him was his job and whatever it took he'd get him out of this.

"Speaking of Jo…" Sam started.

"Yeah?" Dean was a little worried, but just kept looking forward.

"She has something to ask you, about the baby."

"Oh." Dean said surprised. That was not what he was expecting.

* * *

The door was open, but he knocked on it anyway. 

"Come in." she said. Trying to fix her hair earlier hadn't worked so she just slung it over her shoulders and behind her back.

"Sam said you had something to ask me." he said forwardly. 'Lets get it over with' he thought as he pulled a chair up to her bed and sat down.

"I want to call her Ashley." Jo said, linking her hands together in her lap and looking at them. When he didn't answer her or say anything at all she looked at him and pursed her lips in confusion, as if stuck on her next word, "Well?"

"Phew." Dean said in relief, "I thought you were going to ask if we could sell her to gypsies or something."

"You're okay with it?" she said a little surprised.

Dean paused to think it over, 'Ashley Harvelle'…sounded alright to him. "Yeah." he said nodding enthusiastically. "Why? Were you worried?"

"A little." she confessed, feeling stupid and brushing a piece of hair behind her ear, "It just means a lot to me – that name – and I didn't know..."

"It's okay; you don't have to explain. I understand…and it's a great name."

Jo smiled and it caught on, making it hard for her to look at him – that smile was a heart breaker – "Okay." she said finally releasing her own hands, now comfortable, "Ashley Winchester it is."

"What?" he said almost standing up in shock, before realising that would be a little too dramatic.

"Ashley Winchester. What's wrong?"

"I just…" He just never considered it. He'd assumed, "I though it'd be Harvelle." She smiled as he stood up, nervously avoided her eye contact and rambled, "I mean you're a Harvelle and she's your daughter and…"

"And she's yours too." Jo said, grabbing his hand and making him face her, pulling it just so, so that he sat down on her bed. "She's a girl; she'll have my blonde hair, my nose…hopefully." she laughed, "My gorgeous figure." Then he laughed, so she slapped his arm. He cocked his head so she knew he was joking. She did, so she kept going and got to her point, "I want her to have something of her dad's." And then he kissed her and they both knew what would have come next if they could be totally honest and blunt. She wanted Ashley to have something of her dad's, because she wouldn't have her dad.

Dean knew it was wrong; it tasted wrong, bittersweet as he tilted her head and twisted his tongue in her mouth, making her forget that thought they'd both thought but not dared to say. He couldn't forget, but if he kept kissing her he hoped that for a while he could make her forget. Maybe he could give her that much.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

Friends; the furthest he could get from her without leaving…

* * *

Dean felt Jo's hand come up to his face and her fingertips caress his stubbled jaw, so he broke away. They were both holding their breath as he opened his eyes to look down, not at her. His face, his lips, were still close; too close for Jo. She leaned into him, but he turned his head and moved away. 

As he stood up and walked to the far corner of the room – the furthest he could get from her without leaving – Jo rubbed her shoulders nervously. She felt like that schoolgirl again; the one Sam – or whoever – had told her Dean saw her as. It had just been lies, but Jo had taken it to heart a little, and now? Well, talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Jo?" his scratchy voice said through the awkwardness, "Jo. We need to talk about some things."

"I know." she said softly, looking down at the floor when he turned round. She knew this would happen eventually. His time was running out; he wanted a life. She knew Dean was a good man; he'd stick by Ashley, but her? She couldn't ask him to spend his last few months with her if he didn't want to. How can you ask someone to love you? Ask someone to be your one, when they're dying and want to make the most of things?

"Things have to change, Jo." he said looking blank, emotionless, "We can't carry on like this around the b…around Ashley. Look, I know this is partly…okay, mainly my fault. I kissed you just then, and I shouldn't have, but…"

'Let's just be friends.' Jo thought.

"I'm not myself. I've taken it too far. It isn't healthy for Ashley if we start anything now that we can't…Well; erm…Look, I'm gonna be stronger; stop acting rash and doing things I shouldn't with you. From now on…"

'Let's just be friends.' Jo thought again.

"We should just…Do you know what I'm saying, Jo?"

Jo nodded so Dean continued ranting.

"We should just go back to how things used to be. You know, when we were…Well; What I'm saying is maybe we should just be friends."

There it was finally, but even though she'd been expecting it, his words still cut deep. An involuntary lump clammed up her throat and she only prayed he wouldn't ask her a direct question, because she didn't want him to hear it in her voice.

Dean couldn't believe what he'd said, but he'd said it and just waited for her reaction…but she said nothing. Maybe his ego was getting out of control he thought; maybe he was imagining her feelings for him. "What do you think?"

"I'm…" her voice choked out on her, as she had feared it might.

'Maybe not' Dean thought.

"I'm really tired Dean. Can we talk about this later?" she asked, forced smile as clear as day.

"Sure." Dean replied; forced smile also. He began to walk out of the room and she turned to lay on her side, facing away. He paused at the door and looked at her. 'She could just be tired,' he thought to himself, 'Or you could have just broke her heart.'

* * *

"So did you and Jo ever talk about…" 

"Yes." Dean said, hopefully stopping Sam before he could start. Why couldn't he ever be left to drive in peace? This was simple, 'pick up Jo, the baby and drive back to Bobby's'. No talking was necessary.

"And?"

"And we talked. Our lips moved and everything." Dean replied obviously not in a sharing mood.

"I bet they did." Sam said under his breath, but Dean heard him and tossed his brother an unamused stare. "Oh come on man;" Sam continued, "tell me what happened?"

Dean huffed then, "We're just gonna be friends."

"What is this? High School?" Sam joked. Then he paused, his eyes widened, "Wait a minute, Dean. You didn't actually say that to her did you?" Dean just stared straight ahead, giving Sam all the answers he wanted. "Dude, you are such an idiot sometimes." Sam said as Dean just tried to concentrate on driving.

They didn't talk after that, until they got to the hospital. The ride was awkward. 'Not as awkward as the ride back would be' Dean thought. Or as awkward as the next few weeks at Bobby's.

Dean had visited Jo again after the 'friends' discussion and she suggested moving in with them. Dean was pleased for the most part, because it meant he could see Ashley more, but he was also nervous, because it meant he would see Jo more too. It was also making things harder, because Dean was confused by her sudden change of heart. Bobby had asked her if she wanted to move in months ago, as had Ellen, so that she wouldn't be alone during her pregnancy. Jo had refused both; she loved her apartment and didn't want to leave it. It seemed odd to him that out of the blue she'd asked Bobby if his offer still stood. He was very confused about what was going on in her head. But in fact, Jo hadn't asked Bobby; it was the other way around...

_..."Hey, Jo."_

_"Hey, Bobby." Jo smiled, sitting up a little straighter._

_"Just been to see the little one; thought I'd drop in and see how her mom's been doing."_

_"I'm okay. Thanks Bobby." Jo was half honest. She was okay, but she was dreading her own mom coming in a few days. She wasn't looking forward to her and Dean running into one another._

_"Well Jo. I just wanted to say that when I told you that you could come stay with us, I was being sincere."_

_"Thanks Bobby, but…"_

_"You love Dean. Don't you?" Bobby interrupted._

_"What?" she said caught off-guard._

_"I thought you might." he continued, pacing the room, "You see, so do I; like he was my own boy sometimes, and I can't bare to see him like this."_

_Jo stared. She didn't know what Bobby was getting at, at all._

_"He's giving up, Jo."_

_Jo just kept staring, but his words did strike a chord with her._

_"I'm not saying he doesn't love the kid. God, that's the only reason I'm telling you this. He loves her and I…" he stopped, making sure Jo would listen, "I think if he could be with her, all the time, he'd get some of his fight back. He'd start believing."_

_"But Sam? He hasn't?…I mean…"_

_"Sam hasn't found a way out." Bobby replied, making Jo nod and hang her head. "He might never…but if Dean isn't willing to try and stay here, Sam's fighting a losing battle for sure."..._

…Jo did love Dean – she couldn't help it – and after Bobby's visit she'd decided she would forget herself; forget how hard it would be – to be there with him, but not be with him – and she'd just do what she could to help.

When she came out of the hospital doors she saw Sam and Dean bickering, but she couldn't hear what they were saying. They stopped when they saw her and both jumped out of the car.

* * *

_AN:- Just wanted to say I'm in the middle of editing the next Chapter (Chapter 10) it was a longish Chapter (for me) so it has taken me a while, but now I've decided to chop it into 2 Chapters instead of posting it all as one big one (it wasn't the size that made me do it, I'll explain my reasons once I've put the Chapter up, which should be very soon). So because I've chopped Chapter 10 into 2 Chapters there won't be 14 Chapters overall to this story there will now be 15..._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 

The sight made her heart ache; I can't have what I want. Can I?…

* * *

"What are we doing?" 

"We're waiting for Jo."

"Yeah. Thanks for the info Dean. I meant why are we waiting in the car?"

"Because that's where I told her I'd wait." Dean said plainly.

"You're not even going in to get her?" Dean was silent, so Sam continued, "Man; you're really sticking to that friends thing, aren't you?"

"I swear to god Sam, if you don't shut your mouth, I'll…"

That's when they both noticed her. She looked better than she had done the last time either of them saw her. She'd done her hair, and she was in her own clothes. She looked great, but all Dean could think was how glad he was that her mom had been here to pick Jo's things up the day before, otherwise he might have had to go to her apartment and fetch her some stuff. The last thing Dean needed right now was a legitimate reason to raid Jo's underwear draw.

Dean jumped out of the car, followed by Sam and as Dean rushed over to Jo he got into the driver's seat. It has been the first time in months that Sam had actually been allowed to drive the car, but he knew it was a one off. Dean just wanted to be in the back with Ashley.

Jo handed their daughter over to Dean, who smiled thankfully and then uncomfortably. Jo got in the front seat next to Sam and Dean got in the back with the baby. He strapped her in securely and then fussed over her the whole way back. Jo looked in the mirror, but the sight made her heart ache too much, so she opened the window and leaned her face to the breeze for a few minutes. Sam however kept on looking at his brother and smiling, when Dean got out of the car later he'd threaten Sam. 'Never tell anyone how I acted back there.' he'd say and Sam would promise teasingly.

* * *

The next week or so seemed to drag a bit for everyone except Sam, who was becoming more panicked behind closed doors. 

Dean and Jo were glad of the drag, and the time it afforded Dean with his little girl. He was a good dad; well as good as he could be with a baby. He did his best. He got up in the night with her most of the time, desperate not to miss anything of her, and sometimes he was even glad when it took him and Jo a long time to get her off to sleep, but he was still human, and some nights he wanted her to go to sleep. Of course those were the nights that she wouldn't…

Dean and Jo collapsed back on the bed with a huff. Ashley was finally asleep, and later they'd try to remember how they'd managed it, but right now they didn't care how, just were glad they had.

Dean had fallen with his arms slung over his head and the toy in his right hand rolled free and hit the floor. He felt Jo shift so he turned his head. She was on her side now, hand on the pillow in front of her face looking up at him.

"What?" he said.

She couldn't say what she wanted to – that they made a good team – because it would be too hard for both of them to hear.

They continued to stare at each other for a while and then as her eyes darted between his eyes his jaw clenched.

"I'm gonna go for a drive." he said getting up. She got up at the same speed, but then stayed sat on the bed and looked at him.

"Dean?" she said.

He could find in her voice an annoyance, but he had to leave; just the sight of her laid next to him had made him feel…god he didn't know, he just needed to drive that feeling off. He didn't answer her; just walked out, widening his eyes a little when he was free of her and having to pause before running to get his jacket. He was putting it on near the door when he heard her come down the stairs and eventually run up behind him.

"Dean. Wait." she called, but he was leaving no matter what.

"I'll be back later." he said shrugging his jacket so it was more comfortable, or he was more comfortable – like that was going to happen anytime soon –

She followed him into the yard. The daylight had gone sometime during their effort to get Ashley to sleep and the air was cold against Jo's shoulders.

"Dean!" she shouted again, this time more persistent and agitated.

Dean was at the car by now, but turned around after opening the door. He looked at her stubbornly and she didn't say anything until she got right in front of him.

"So what the hell was that?"

"What?" he said staring her out.

"Why did you make an excuse to leave?…Did you think I was gonna make a move on you or something?"

Dean shook his head out of disbelief – not in anyway answering her question, more avoiding it; brushing it off – and got into the Impala.

"Because I was." she said leaning in, startling him with her truthful admission.

Suddenly and aggressively Dean got out of the drivers seat and slammed the door closed, making Jo jump.

"We can't play this game Jo!" he said desperately.

"I'm falling for you Dean. This isn't a game to me. I think I love…"

"Don't say it Jo." he begged, turning his face away from her briefly, "Please don't say it."

"Dean." she said walking forwards and laying a hand on his cheek. It forced him to look back at her again, but even though it felt nice he shook it off, flinching at her touch. Jo backed away again, but continued with the same tone – a mixture of caring and frankness – "I love you…and I don't need you to say it back. Even if you ever felt the same, I won't make you say it." 'Because I can't hear it, as much as you couldn't say it.' she thought.

Dean looked at her and laughed unbelievingly.

"I'm not playing a game Dean. This isn't just physical for me like it used to be. I can't believe you think this is funny!"

"The only funny thing about this is that…" he paused then turned his back on her; he couldn't say it to her face, "if I wasn't dying I wouldn't even have fallen for you in the first place. I wouldn't have this, us…and Ashley? Even if I _had_ ever gotten you pregnant, I would have asked you to get rid of her."

"And I would have." Jo said stepping forward and gripping the sleeve of his leather jacket before finally squeezing his arm, "If you'd asked me to." she continued.

"I would have." he said heartbroken, even though Dean Winchester didn't do heartbreak. Well, not his own, which was his next point. "I'm not a good guy Jo. I'm not the guy for you or Ashley; even if I was gonna be around. I'm only acting this was because I'm running out of time."

"So, what are you saying Dean? That its better that you're dying?"

"Even if I had more time, I'd waste it."

"No you wouldn't, Dean."

"I know me, Jo." he said dropping his head to his chest, "I would. I wouldn't be a decent father; I wouldn't be faithful to you, or be there for either of you the way I should. I'd be hunting and driving and drinking and sleeping around!"

"This isn't working." she said, her attempts to turn him back around to face her finally successful.

"What isn't?"

"You, trying to convince me that it's better this way."

"I'm just telling you the truth!"

"What do I tell Ashley? When she asks about her dad? 'Oh, sorry honey; you're dad didn't wanna try and stick around, because he thought if he got his life back he wouldn't want us anymore anyway?'"

"That's not fair." he said angrily.

"None of this is fair!" she yelled.

"Yeah, but don't use Ashley against me. This is about what you want, not her!"

"Maybe this is about what I want, but when Ashley gets older she's not going to have a father, but she'll need one. That's a fact. Its not okay that you're dying, because there's not just you to think of anymore."

"Jesus Christ! I didn't even want a family!" he screamed, walking away from her with no particular direction, "Now its all I can think about. Not having you both one day."

Jo went to stand in front of him again and grabbed both of his arms and tried to shake him. "Forget about what you wanted…Forget about what you're scared will happen…Now, Dean. What do you want now? That's what's important."

"I can't have what I want now. Can I, Jo?" he said sincerely, "We have to think about what will happen when I'm not here. We can't live moment to moment, never thinking about what's gonna happen tomorrow."

"Let's pretend we can." she said locking eyes with him.

* * *

He pushed her against the outside wall of the house. 

"I love you." she said as he kissed her neck…

"Say it."

He stopped and it was a while before he brought his head up to look at her.

She cupped his face, "I know I said I wouldn't make you, but please Dean. If you do."

"I love you." he said, really looking at her.

She blinked her eyes shut slowly and he rested his forehead on hers. Then they kissed, endlessly, painfully. Her arms wrapped around his neck, hugging him close and a tear rolled down her cheek and onto her arm.

* * *

_AN:- So like I said this was originally longer, but when I was editing it I really wanted to end it here, because I thought it was a nicer ending to the Chapter, so the rest of Chapter 10 is now a Chapter on its own (the next one Chapter 11) and it works better on its own I think because its a less angsty Chapter (but only a bit less lol) that should be up in a day or 2..._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

Eventually, you know. I know, later is getting sooner…

* * *

"Dean you getting up?!" Sam shouted, banging on the door. 

"No." he answered back calmly.

"He's never getting up again!" Jo shouted, resting on her elbow.

Dean smiled and hung his head with a laugh, which brought his face near to her back. He could smell the flowery scent of her, could almost taste her skin, so he dropped his head all the way down until he could reach to kiss her there.

Jo's head fell back – partly in a mock-pleasurable way, and partly for real – His mouth just felt so good on her.

"Erm, Jo?" Sam didn't expect an answer; hadn't meant to ask if it was her – because who else would it be – but he was taken aback temporarily. He tried to regain his composure, "Erm, you know I kinda need you today, Dean."

"Well I'm busy." he said, even if it was just a muffled murmur against Jo's skin. "Leave me alone for 10 minutes." he finished smiling and moving away from her back. Jo reached her hand behind and…"Uh…make that an hour." he said collapsing his head in her neck this time. He kissed his way down her jaw to her mouth, and then turned her head with his hand. She pulled her arm up to stroke the hair on his head as they kissed.

"So what happened to letting _me_ tell Sam?" he said finally when she broke the kiss.

"Sorry." she said fake-pouting, "Do you forgive me?"

"No." he said rolling her onto her back and pulling her under him suddenly, making her gasp, but then smile enthusiastically.

"Are you sure you can handle me for a whole hour?" she said sarcastically, goading him.

"Oh. You are so gonna pay for that." he said tickling her, trying to hold her still as she squirmed.

Sam could only hear giggles, so he left – let them have their fun, serious stuff later; only Sam knew that later was getting sooner.

Sam was getting worse everyday; more worried; more panicked. He was trying to get a grip. 'The more you lose it, the less helpful you'll be' he tried to tell himself, but it had been all this time and still nothing. He wouldn't give up though, and he did have one new lead at the moment. But getting information out of this source wasn't going to be easy. Some psychic or something he'd heard about; said that if they did him a favour, he'd do them one. He wasn't like Missouri; he did more than 'feel things', and he said he knew something.

Sam wasn't holding his breath. This guy could just be a joker, but he owed it to Dean to try.

Sam was just itching to get going. Dean and Bobby were gonna go along, sort out this guy's problem while Sam was gonna try and get him to spill this so called 'useful information'. The sooner they got going, the sooner Sam would know what to do next; where to go from here. That was the worst part about all this, right now…he didn't. He couldn't have a plan for everything. He'd make plans and then a lead would fall through and he'd be back to square one.

"Hey, Sam. Ready to go?" Bobby said strolling in.

"Erm, not quite…erm…Jo and Dean are um…" Sam just pointed to the ceiling with one hand, and rubbed the back of his neck with the other.

"Oh." said Bobby.

* * *

"Dean?" Jo said breathlessly, "Do you want me?" 

"God yes." he said lustfully. His voice tickled her skin before he ran his tongue over it.

"Good, because I want you." she continued, pulling him closer, wrapping her legs around his thighs.

Dean felt her pull and slid his hands further around her hips, squeezing a little to let her know he wasn't going anywhere…yet. "Yeah?" he questioned before making a move from the crook of her neck to the space just below her ear. He kissed her.

"Yeah." she said. So much pleasure in her tiny voice.

"You want me?" he said, now no longer kissing her, just ghosting his lips near her flesh and shifting his hips – to make sure that when he was ready, he could give her what he knew she wanted when she answered him –

"Mmhm."

"Inside you?" he asked brushing his stubble over her neck to her cheek and laying the side of his face against hers.

"Mmhm," she repeated, biting her lip.

"Like this?" he asked moving his face above hers and touching her opening with the tip of his dick. Teasing her like he always had.

"Dean." she moaned, letting go of her lip carelessly.

"Or like this?" he asked again, this time easing himself inside her a bit.

"Deeper Dean." she whimpered.

* * *

"Is he ever going to come down?" asked Bobby. 

Sam smirked. He had to admit, even Dean near death was all about the ladies.

"I mean, I know its Dean, but for God's sakes!"

Sam didn't say anything, just looked at the clock again and hoped they could get going before it got dark.

* * *

"We're going to have to move eventually, you know." Dean said, still panting after all these minutes of rest. His forehead was on her shoulder, so his breath was cruising out across her chest. They were in bed, sheets in disarray, Dean sat pressed back against the headboard and Jo sat in front of him, on him, hands resting on his biceps. Her cheek was leant on his shoulder, but she was facing away from him. Sweat clung to their backs and they were both exhausted. 

"I know," she said staring, but not at anything specific, "but not yet."

Dean didn't say anything; didn't move his hands from where they rested on her back. They just sat there.

* * *

"Finally!" Sam said dramatically as Dean came down the stairs, hair all over the place and face flushed. 

"Sorry Sammy. I was…erm preoccupied." He brushed past Sam to the kitchen, but Sam caught the look. He just couldn't hide the 'I just got lucky' smirk. Sam laughed at it, but then he found it less amusing when Dean hollered, "Are we going or what?!"

* * *

_AN:- So this is the end of the confusion lol...like I've said (and I'm just repeating so its clear) this Chapter was originally part of Chapter 10, but now that I've made it a Chapter on its own it means that there is now one more Chapter overall than what I had planned at the start, so there will be 15 Chapters to this story rather than the 14 I said originally...Keep reading and commenting please!!!_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 

All her breath, rather than none at all…

* * *

They'd been gone hours and Ashley hadn't stopped crying; Jo was pacing the entire place, bobbing her up and down. She was glad Dean couldn't see her the way she was right now; panicked; worried. Jo glimpsed what her future might have held if Dean was going to live, her waiting around for him from a hunt; baby and her both sleepless. If she wasn't as worried she might have cried at the thought, because deep down she'd rather have that future with Dean than none at all. 

Ashley's screams started to quiet a little, at first Jo thought she was just going deaf, but then she realised Ashley was falling asleep, so she started too 'shh' her gently and moved her to her crib.

She laid her baby down softly, unwrapping her slightly, because she didn't want her to get too hot. Then she heard that grumble sound and her heart missed a beat as she rushed to the window.

There it was, the Impala in all its glory. She'd always liked that car, but never had she thought it looked so _damn_ beautiful and she had _never_ been so happy to see it, or what it carried.

She checked on Ashley, and when she saw her dropping chest rise again she smiled and flew down the stairs. Her feet touched the floor only when absolutely necessary as she leapt to the front door. She got there just in time as he came through it. He'd gone ahead of Sam and Bobby, almost as eager to see her and Ashley as Jo was to see him – even though _he_ knew where they'd been all this time.

Jo jumped at him and hugged him tightly. At first Dean was shocked, then he closed his eyes and buried his head in her hair. Sam laughed, but Dean was too busy with his girl to notice.

After a long time Jo moved away, but only enough to kiss him; her head fully on its side, immediately sliding her tongue roughly over his as she told him how much she'd missed him.

Dean couldn't believe how confident she was. She'd never been exactly timid when it came to them, but he was with Sam, Bobby, only just through the door, and they'd only decided to do this last night. But then Dean couldn't really explain how he was kissing her back. The world seemed to have melted away and it didn't matter who he was with either, or how long they'd been together, or where he'd just been; what he'd just got. All that mattered was her, her mouth, hard against his mouth; her tongue probing, begging his to do the same.

Sam laughed again as Bobby passed them all, tired of waiting for someone else to move into the house first. He left the door open behind him, because Dean wasn't far enough inside for him to be able to close it properly, and he wasn't going to interrupt them.

Finally Jo broke away, only just reassured enough that her man was back to let go of him.

"Wow. I should stay away more often." Dean said.

Jo hit him. "Don't you dare!…and speaking of; where the hell have you been?"

Dean looked at Sam – Sam was already looking at him – and then back at Jo. Now Jo was worried again and turned to Sam as well, sensing Dean wasn't going to tell her whatever they had to tell. Her heart was most definitely in her throat.

"Well." Sam said looking again at Dean to make sure he was okay to continue, "The guy we went to see…he…well, he was more useful than we thought he'd be. He gave us some leads and we went to check them out straight away." 'Or eventually' Sam's thoughts added. Dean hadn't wanted to, _had_ wanted to get back before dark, but Sam didn't see the point of wasting another day.

"And?" Jo said. Her voice was harsh, but Sam understood it was only because she was so anxious.

"And…" Dean said taking one hand from around her waist and reaching under his coat to his jean-pocket. He fished something out, and opened his palm in front of her to show her what it was. It was a bullet.

"What's that?" she asked, "And before you try to be smart, I know it's a bullet." she added, seeing Dean open his mouth with a cheeky smile.

Dean closed his mouth before he had even spoken. He realised she knew him too well. Then he made mother attempt, "Its…"

"Its for the colt." Sam interrupted.

Jo looked confused at Sam.

"Way to steal my thunder…Sammy." Dean quipped. Sam just smirked back.

"I don't understand. You mean the colt, colt?"

"The one and only." Dean said passing the bullet to Sam and then replacing his hand to mirror his other on Jo's waist.

"But how…"

Dean's lips touched hers again just long enough to stop her talking and make her squeal with surprise. She hadn't been looking at him; hadn't expected him to do that and that's one of the reasons he did it.

"I just got through the door Jo." he said after pulling away, "Can we talk about this later?"

Her face was still a bit dazed, but then it was sterner when she realised what he was doing. He was trying to avoid a serious conversation. She had a right to know what the hell was going on, and she was going to find out. She planned on asking the question she'd half asked already again, but then he kissed her, hard and deep, and swaying her hips with his hands, he turned her just enough to press her against the wall.

Sam nervously went upstairs just as Dean moved his hand up her stomach.

"So," Jo said quieter than she had meant to, because it was pretty clear now, that Dean had taken all her breath, "the bullet?"

"What bullet?" Dean said moving to nibble on her earlobe.

She sighed, slipping under already, then she shocked herself out of it. "The bullet, the colt. Does this mean…"

Then Ashley cried out and the mother in Jo stopped asking him immediately and looked up the stairs. The lover in her made her turn back eventually though.

Dean let her go from where he held her against the wall. "Go." he said, his eyes telling her it was okay, that they'd talk after; still Jo hesitated before she went. Dean took off his jacket and slung it against the banister at the bottom of the stairs. Then he followed where Jo had gone.

He found her putting Ashley down, so he waited, watching her until she had. Then he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close to him. She didn't look back at him, just laid her arms over where his crossed in front of her as they both stared at their daughter.

"Jo." he said softly, and Jo's stomach clenched as if she knew what was coming. He didn't let her answer, he just continued, "Jo. The colt can kill anything, any demon. But only with the right bullets, and this might not be one of them. There weren't supposed to be any left. And it'll only work if we actually hit the son of a bitch, so…"

Jo wrapped her arms around herself tighter, encouraging him to do the same beneath hers.

"All I'm saying is this doesn't mean that…"

"I know." she said gently, turning her head to rest against his chest.

"I just need you to understand that, because Sam doesn't."

"I understand Dean," she said, "and so does Sam. He's just…"

"I know." he said, reflecting for a moment on how they all understand each other so well. "Look I'm just going to get a beer. I'll be back soon." he said kissing her head and slowly leaving.

Dean stopped before he got to the stairs, instead turning and walking into Sam's room. Sam looked up shocked from his laptop and quickly closed it down.

Dean raised an eyebrow, "You're not looking at porn again? Are you Sammy?" he chuckled.

Sam screwed up his face and rolled his eyes. They both knew he wasn't.

"Look, Sam. I just…" This was hard for Dean. He wasn't good at the opening up, and Christ he'd done enough 'feeling talk' with Jo recently to allow a normal person a break for a while, but Dean was too aware that if he didn't say this now, he might never get the chance. "Sam, I just want to say thank you."

"For what, Dean?" Sam asked confused.

"For not giving up on me; for _never_ giving up on me."

Sam smiled, but before he could say anything Dean spoke again. He wasn't finished.

"I'm sorry." he said, "I've been a pain in the ass…but you still kept trying."

"Of course I did."

"I just want you to know that I appreciate it and…I…" Dean paused again and Sam looked up at him, where he was leant against the wall. "I want you to know, I don't wanna die."

It was hard for Dean to admit. He hadn't until now because he knew it would be too hard for him to cope with the truth once he faced it, and also he didn't want to pressure Sam. But now he…"I just needed you to know that I haven't been acting the way I have because I'm okay with dying, because I'm not."

"I know." Sam said, almost crying, but not.

"Its not just Jo and Ashley. I…Sam…"

"I know." was all Sam said. They were family, brothers, and he didn't need to say it.

* * *

Time after that didn't drag; it flew by, all too quickly. Dean couldn't help thinking it was just his luck. He was finally happy, so of course it couldn't last, but then he didn't, couldn't let himself think like that. He had to keep his game face on for Sam, and he had to make the most of his time with Ashley and Jo. From time to time he'd allow himself to think how unfair he was being to Jo, how cruel he was to her, because he'd be leaving her soon. He didn't think about the plan Sam and Bobby were always talking about. He just smiled and when Sam asked him, "You do believe I'm going to save you, Dean. Don't you?" he'd say, "Yes." He didn't even think about it the night before when Jo stood next to him and put a hand around his back. He just did the same and leant to give her a kiss. They both pulled away slowly. 

"I'll see you in a bit." he said quickly kissing her again as she slipped away.

Jo didn't say 'Don't be long' even though she wanted to. She knew Sam was the most important thing to Dean, and they hadn't said goodbye.

Sam gave her a quick nod and a polite, awkward smile as she left. She didn't know – 'thankfully' Sam thought – why he was acting strange, so she smiled back.

"So." he said when Jo was gone.

"So, big day tomorrow." Dean said making Sam lift a questioning eyebrow.

"You could say that." Sam replied eventually, "Look, Dean. Tonight you…I can't believe I'm going to say this…"

"Spit it out, Sammy. I don't have all day…Well, tomorrow I won't have all day."

"That's not funny."

Dean had his mouth open, paused amusingly until he saw that Sam wasn't in the mood – how could he be? – and then he tried to listen seriously. He never expected what Sam said next.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 

The hardest thing he'd ever have to do…

* * *

"Look, Dean, like you said, tomorrow's a big day and…well, you should get some sleep." 

"Is that it?" Dean said confused. "Hell, Sam. I plan on going to bed as soon as we're done." He smiled coyly.

"Yeah, but not to sleep."

Dean laughed, Sam didn't.

"Look man, I get that you and Jo are a thing now, but I'm serious. You're gonna need to be focused tomorrow and you'll need rest; not…well, what I presume you two had planned."

"Oh gee, Sam. How dare you! I was only going to hold her hand; maybe sneak a kiss if her mom isn't looking." Dean joked, but again Sam didn't find it funny, and even Dean realised it wasn't _that_ funny, because Ellen was scary. "Come on, Sam." Dean protested, "Sleep when you're dead." Seeing Sam's face, Dean realised he'd need a better argument. "Sam, even if I had days of sleep, this plan…might not work."

Sam hung his head, feeling in some way that he'd let his brother down.

"I didn't mean it like that Sam. I'm being realistic. Every plan has risks, and we ain't exactly the A Team."

"That's a ridiculous argument Dean. Everything has risks?…I could get knocked down by a bus tomorrow, but you don't see me being reckless."

Dean tried to stay calm. He knew that Sam just cared about him, so he was careful when he answered him, "Sam; one, I think I'm in a situation with more risks than the chance of you having a road accident, and two, its not reckless, its just…It's the way I wanna go out; call it the 'Dean Winchester way to die happy.'"

"Dean." Sam said sharply. In that one word Sam said it all. 'Okay. I give up on this, but not on you. Stop saying you're gonna die, 'cause I won't let you.'

Dean smiled, "Well, Sammy. I can't believe this is one of the last conversations we might ever have."

Sam had to laugh too; it _was_ pretty weird.

"Sam; you know if I don't…well, I'm gonna change."

"No, you're not." Sam said with a whining mock.

"I might!" Dean smirked.

They were in silence for a while, then Dean spoke, "Sam, seriously. If I made a go of it with Jo and Ash…" he had to pause to try and cope with the confession, what he wished he could do and had never let himself admit out loud before, "You'd always be my br…"

"I know, Dean."

Dean smiled to himself as he went up the stairs.

* * *

The plan hadn't been this; her laid in his arms, sleeping, but Dean let her sleep. Even though she'd hate him for it; for missing time with him; for what they could have done, or said, when she was sleeping. She couldn't do more though, and if she did it would only make it harder to leave than it already was – if that was possible – Yes; leaving this girl was definitely the hardest thing he'd ever have to do. 

Her golden hair bounced as he shifted it behind her ear – he wanted to see her face, remember it as it was tonight, every detail of it – Then that was it; one selfish act that he thought he might be allowed passed through his mind, and so he woke her by gently caressing her arm with his fingertips.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked, hurt and looking guilty.

"About half an hour; that's all."

"I'm sorry." she said.

"Its okay." he said smiling, "I got to watch you sleep, and babe, thanks for that chance," he paused, "'cause you are beautiful."

* * *

When Jo woke up she could smell grass and road-dust. The window was open and the sunlight and fresh air soaked her face. Her eyelids fluttered and she rolled over expecting to find Dean. At first it took her eyes some time to adjust, but as soon as they focused she realised that Dean wasn't just out of reach in the bed, he wasn't in the bed at all. 

She shot up, rushing a hand to her face. Had he gone without her? Already? He hadn't said goodbye; hadn't even woken her.

Jo scissored her legs and kicked the sheets away from her. She was panicking now. Looking to the clock she didn't understand how they could have left so early. She raced to the window, now no longer thinking about the sun, or the country air. She was looking for a car, his car, and it wasn't there.

She lost her balance, lost the ability to stand, and she sunk, heavy to her knees; her hands feebly trying to grip the windowsill then the wall in front of her. A 'thud' and then she was on the ground. Ashley cried; waking upon hearing her mother's knees bang to the floor. Jo wanted to go to her, but she couldn't will herself to move.

After a while Sam spun into the room as Ashley's cries escalated. His eyes were drawn to Jo, and then he walked over to the crib and reached down for the baby. Her arms flayed about until he scooped her up.

Jo hadn't even heard him come in; she was just thankful Ashley wasn't crying anymore. She didn't even turn round until he called her name. Then he saw the streaming tears down her face. She brushed them away, rising to her feet and immediately Sam saw her expression become one of confusion.

"What are you doing here?! Why aren't you with Dean?" she stressed.

"What are you talking about, Jo? Where's Dean?" Sam asked, bouncing Ashley gently.

"He's gone!" she shouted.

"What?!" Sam snapped, rushing forward. He quickly passed Ashley to Jo as he turned to the window and saw exactly what she had seen, nothing. No Impala.

"Oh my God." Sam breathed out. His hands gripped the windowsill tightly, and then released it suddenly. He flew downstairs and Jo followed him – as fast as she could with a baby in tow – She found him rooting through the draws of a desk.

"Sam what's wrong? What are you looking for? Where's Dean?" she begged him desperately.

"He's taken it."

"Taken what?" she asked.

"The bullet. The colt…Damn it!" Sam shouted, shoving the draw shut so hard that the whole thing rocked with the force, smashing into the wall.

Jo stepped and clutched the baby away from him slightly. "Sam." she whispered.

Sam tried to calm down. He turned and leaned his back against the draw.

"Sam; what's going on?" Jo pleaded with him to tell her. She didn't understand – or she didn't want to understand – what all this meant.

"The plan, Jo." Sam began, "We weren't supposed to go until this afternoon. We agreed…We'd go at the same time; he'd be in the Impala, and I'd follow in one of Bobby's trucks. But _I'd_ have the colt...Now he's taken it…I've…I've got no way to kill the demon, even if I get there in time."

Jo turned away. She kissed her daughter's forehead, hugging her close. "He planned this all along; didn't he?"

Sam couldn't answer her.

* * *

_AN:- I'm SO s__orry if anyone was disappointed by the cliffhanger I left last time, I didn't know it would seem as big as it did...basically I wanted to put the next Chapter up on Sunday and my internet went down, which has really annoyed me!!! Grrrr internet...anyway I'm back now, but I know leaving it so long made it seem REALLY important, and so I hope you can all still take it in the light-hearted way it was meant when it was revealed what Sam was going to say to Dean at the beginning of this Chapter, and in the mean time having no internet Ive had time to edit the last 2 Chapters, so they will be up soon all being well :D and I've started writing more of the sequel, so I hope that makes up for this some..._

_And I hope you liked the more serious ending to this Chapter...Its getting close to the end, so theres mostly serious stuff ahead now...(though you never know with Dean...'laugh in the face of danger' and all that lol)...2 more Chapters...I'm sad to be ending it soon...__please keep the comments coming, it makes my day to read them..._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

His life; how could he leave it?…

* * *

Sam tried to ask 'what was Dean thinking?' but the truth was he knew exactly what Dean was thinking. He was never going to let Sam try and kill the demon; never going to risk the demon killing Sam first. Dean was, and always _had been_ prepared to die for his brother. He was a complete idiot. 

"Bobby!" Sam shouted, "Bobby!" He began to move through the house, and Jo scuttled after him.

"Bobby!" Sam called.

"What, Sam?!" Bobby shouted back from the top of the stairs.

"Dean's gone."

"What do you mean; he's gone?" he asked running down to them.

"He's took the colt; he's gone." Sam said looking at Bobby sternly. "We need to go after him."

Bobby paused for a long time. He didn't know what to say or do. In the end he just nodded and said, "Okay. I'll go start the truck."

Sam followed, but when he got to the door he was very aware Jo was still close behind him.

"You're not coming with us." he said.

"The hell I'm not!" she screamed, almost waking Ashley again. When she stirred Jo just rubbed her back gently.

"Jo." Sam said nodding his head towards the baby. "You can't come. Who's going to look after her?"

"My mom…Bobby."

"Bobby's coming with me, and your mom's too far away." He started to turn away from her.

"I…"

"Enough Jo." he whispered, turning back to her, "If something happens to us all. Who's going to look after Ashley? She'll need her mom." His eyes were firm, but caring. Jo was surprised they could be so sensitive to her, when she knew how worried he was about Dean.

Jo relaxed, but she kept his gaze, "You bring him back to me, Sam...Promise me." She knew it wasn't fair. She shouldn't make him promise anything, and he certainly shouldn't reply. But he did.

"I promise, Jo."

* * *

By the time Dean got to the crossroads it was afternoon. It was as hot as hell, and Dean had to laugh at that notion, even now. He knew he didn't have to come here, the demon would catch up with him wherever he went – and he'd only planned on coming here so they could 'go through with the plan' and Sam could get to the demon – He didn't have to come here, but he did. It seemed fitting. This is where it happened, where he'd sold his soul, so it seemed like the right place to lose it, officially. Also part of him hoped that if he came here the demon might come early; get it over with. Dean hated hanging around, not being in control. He was trying to meet his fate head-on; helped it seem less like he was giving in; less like he was giving up. 

'Til now he'd been praying, begging – to no one in particular – for more time, and now he just wanted it over. He didn't want more time, more time to think. He couldn't think anymore; thinking was too painful. All he could think about was how angry Sam and Jo would be at him. He'd messed things up again. He didn't want to leave it this way – his life – but he didn't know how else to leave it; how else he could leave it.

After a long-time – which involved yet more thinking – Dean got out of the car. The door made that familiar wrenching noise as he opened and closed it, and then he thought about how that could be, would be, the last time he ever heard that sound. He'd never hear the engine roar again, and _god_ how he loved that sound too. He let himself think about the Impala, even though it wasn't healthy – thinking about all the things he'd never hear again – but at least it was passing time, and at least he wasn't thinking about the fact that he'd never see Sam again; never get to touch Jo; never get to kiss his daughter goodnight. At least he wasn't thinking about that.

A while later, now still afternoon – but that dusking time of afternoon – Dean stopped. He stopped thinking; stopped wishing or hoping. He even stopped waiting. He just sat there. That's when she came. He left his car down the road – forgetting her, like the others – and walked to meet the Red eyed demon.

"Dean…What a pleasant surprise." The demon cooed, circling him, "I'm flattered you came to see me, but I must say a little disappointed. I was looking forward to playing hide and seek with you tonight."

"Well." he said, turning around to face her, "I'm not really into playing kids games."

"I know." she replied, "You're more of a gambling man…You like bets and deals. Well so do I, baby….and I'm here for my winnings."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 

He fell to his knees, but her hand never left him; never again…

* * *

Dean's stomach turned involuntarily, but he still forced a smile – similar to the one he'd given her the first time they'd met, when she'd asked him if it was his first time making a deal…She…It…Whatever. 

"You don't fool me, Dean." it said, "You can pretend if you want to – its cute actually – but we both know."

"Know what?" he asked, not missing a beat.

"Like I said, you're my winnings; means I win. The infamous Dean Winchester…turning himself in to be put down like a wounded animal."

"Look sweetheart;" Dean said bitterly, "we could yak all day, or you could get on with this."

"Okay, Dean – game face on is it? – I'll play along; let you pretend you're in control. Pretend you wouldn't sell your good looks right now, for another day. I'd love to take you down another few notches, but you know what? I don't need to." It continued, now walking, swaying it's borrowed body smugly towards him, getting right in his face, close enough to make him feel sick, almost gag with disgust. "You're going down there. I wouldn't trade places with you for the world. So, I don't need to say anything more to make you hurt. 'Cause baby…if you ain't been to hell, you don't know the meaning of the word."

"You think I'm good looking?" he whispered leaning into her with a hateful sneer.

She smiled; big black eyes looking up at him, "I'm gonna miss you Dean."

"What do you say we get this show on the road?" he asked, but not really asking.

"What ever you want; Dean." she started, eyes turning red. She stood there smiling again.

"So…" Dean said impatiently, "Where's Fido?"

"I've sent the dogs home. I thought it could be just us." Her voice was so sweet it made him uncomfortable.

"How romantic; maybe if I wasn't dying, we could have…"

Dean stopped talking immediately as her hand touched his chest. It felt like she'd placed a hot iron on him; stabbed him, and was twisting the knife. He couldn't remember ever screaming because of pain in his life, but the burning, searing touch of her palm, melting the fibres of his shirt – or at least it felt that way – almost drove his groan into a full blown scream. He fell to his knees, but her hand never left him…until…

Dean felt her hand jolt, it didn't leave him, just pulled away slightly as if it meant to – it was just as bad, like torture when it pushed back flush against him again. But he was confused and even more so when he looked up and saw a hole in her forehead. Yellow flashes – lighting and fire – escaping it.

That's when her hand dropped completely. Dean looked now into the background. There amongst the twisted tree silhouettes, and next to the shine of the Impala's open trunk, was Sam, gun still raised, arms tensed and outstretched. Then he saw gold; Jo's hair bouncing as she ran up behind his brother. She stopped before she got too close though; frozen, just like Sam. She didn't even look at him, or him at her – even though he didn't know that she would have followed him here.

Only Dean seemed to be able to move – which was ironic considering what he'd jus been through – He turned back to the demon, and for a moment his face fell, defeated, because she was smiling. In that moment he knew; _knew_ it hadn't worked; knew she had won, and letting her see his disappointment, she'd truly won his soul. But then she fell, still smiling, and he realised, that was her sick way of showing defeat as well, and it _had_ worked. He'd won. For once he'd won.

The lifeless body of whoever that thing had consumed, fell to the ground. His chest heaved, and his eyes welled up. Jo took further steps forward, laying a hand on Sam's shoulders as he relaxed his arms and dropped the gun into the dust.

They both stared at Dean, but it wasn't until he tried to get up, and slammed back onto his knees again that they went to him. Jo ran, calling his name through a choke, and Sam let her go before him; stood as she skidded on her knees to Dean and cradled him as he held onto his chest and gritted his teeth through the pain.

"Dean." she said softly, and she didn't know why she said it, perhaps to remind him and her that he was still here.

"Can't a guy go for a drive on his own without being followed?" Dean chuckled, but then he finished his joke off with a hiss when he moved too sharply.

Then Jo's palm traced his face, from hairline to jaw and over his cheek, and he stopped joking, closed his eyes and pushed his forehead onto hers, as her other hand came up to his face as well.

She didn't hug him – God she wanted to – but she knew his body couldn't take that right now – Reality vs. Romance – so she just moved her head, laid her cheek against his cheek, and he kissed her hair, moving his arm around her – the one that wasn't bracing his chest as if his ribs were broken.

He met Sam's gaze and mouthed 'Thank you' to him. It wasn't a thank you for the demon, but for _everything_; for the life before that he'd always been a part of; for the life, the chances he'd just give him in the future. Sam understood the meaning, the sincerity, and he nodded, just as sincerely. He turned, let a tear roll down his cheek and out of sight; leaving only its trail on his face as evidence of it ever being there, while Dean tried to stand again. This time with Jo's help – just like that night in Duluth – he stood, despite the pain. She held him up as Bobby ran into the clearing in a panic. He'd run as soon as he heard the shot. Seeing Dean he just couldn't believe it. After all this evil, after all they'd been through, finally the Winchester boys had got a break. Bobby was so happy for them.

They all walked, but suddenly Dean stopped. He turned to Jo, "Where's Ashley?"

"With my mom." she said, "I got her to drive and meet me half way here."

Dean's face, entire body, relaxed, which made his chest sting afresh again. As he turned back, and Jo tried to regain the positions they had before, he huffed, "You shouldn't have left her." He didn't mean it harshly, just honestly.

This time it was Jo who stopped. She turned to him. "And you shouldn't have either."

Dean laughed. He smoothed a curl away from her face, behind her ear. "Never again." he said, and they all knew he wasn't just talking about leaving Ashley. "Never again." Then he kissed her; like he's kissed her a hundred times before; like he's kiss her a hundred times again.

THE END

For now…

* * *

_AN:- So this is the end...I'm sort of sad its completed...I've nearly finished writing the sequel to this though, so I'm going to start putting that up soon, maybe in a week or 2..._

_I hope you all liked my story...please comment...thanks SO MUCH for reading it, and I hope you read the 2 follow up stories when I post them :D_

_bye for now xXx_


	16. AN

_AN:-_

_I just wanted to say thanx again for everyone who read this (my first fanfic story) when I published it...and for those of you who liked the idea of a sequel I just wanted to say that I've finished writing it...I just need to cut it into chapters, do a final quick edit and then upload it onto here..._

_But I must warn you there will be a character death at the end of the sequel...and so I don't know whether I should put it up for Christmas or wait til after...I hate Christmas and don't really celebrate it, but I don't want to upset anyone else who is normally cheery at this time of year..._

_What I might do is start it off soon like before Christmas and then take a short break and put the last few chapters up after Christmas..._

_Ive also written about half of the third installment too, but still not sure about some of it, so that will definetly not be up til about a month after the sequel..._

_Anyway just wanted to keep you informed, because I don't want anyone who was interested before to get impatient and abandon the story...because I am going to put it up soon either way..._

_xXx Thanx again for the support so far..._


End file.
